It is time for a sequel to one of our more popular posts... THIS IS BAD METAL ALBUM COVERS!

This is metal from all types ranging from Hair Bands to Thrash Metal to Nu-Metal to Black Metal. I have put together a collection of 10 bad album covers to come out of the metal scene.

So, for your enjoyment, here is just too much metal for only one hand! Here are some awful metal album covers!

WARNING: LAST ONE ISN'T WORK SAFE! WATCH OUT!

1. "Born Again" by Black Sabbath

One thing to know about Black Sabbath, if it doesn't feature Ozzy Osbourne, Ronnie James Dio, or Tony Martin... it is just not worth listening to.

Either way, the album cover should be a tip off here, what the hell is that supposed to be, anyway?

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label Guy: Alright, Ozzy is gone. Dio is gone. This is your comeback album with that one dude from Deep Purple. What should we do for the album cover?
Tony Iommi: How about we have a really awesome religious cover where it symbolizes Christ being reborn, but instead its Black Sabbath?
Record Label Guy: OR.... OR... we could take a picture of a baby and colourize to look like Satan as an infant!
Bill Ward: .. ... ... That's it! I QUIT!

2. "Bonded by Blood" by Exodus

Wow, this one was a brainfart and a half, wasn't it?

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label Guy: Alright guys, so this Thrash thing is kind of taking off here a little bit. They have Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax. I want it to now be EXODUS, Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax. ARE YA FEELING ME?!
Exodus: Hell yeah!
Random Label Guy: So, what I figured for your album cover is this... we have naked Siamese twin babies... one of them good. one of them demonic! AND... my 14 year old son is going draw it for you... FOR FREE! He got a B in his art class!
Exodus: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

3. "Sons of Northern Darkness" by Immortal

More awesomeness from Immortal!

MEETING HELD AT THE SINGER'S MOTHER'S KITCHEN TABLE:

Abbath Doom Occulta: That was some fucking awesome recording session guys! Now, in my sparetime... well, I didn't want to tell you this, but I was working on the album cover and everything...
Horgh: AWESOME! Let us see it!
Abbath Doom Occulta: TA DA!
:: Abbath shows them his drawing ::
Horgh: That's... ... that's ...
Abbath Doom Occulta: What do ya think?
Horgh: People are going to look at this and say "This is their best album cover yet!"
Abbath Doom Occulta: REALLY?!
Horgh: Really...
Abbath Doom Occulta's Mom: BOYS! I Made Tang!
Immortal: OH BOY!!! TANG!

4. "The World Needs a Hero" by Megadeth

And apparently the hero is a zombie skeleton...

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label Guy: ALRIGHT! Dave, welcome to Sanctuary! Now this is the idea that I have for the album cover. I think we should like have this bad ass hero that symbo...
Dave Mustaine: I want a skeleton all bloody and ripping himself away from a body!
Record Label Guy: But he symbolizes not just Megadeth, but Thrash Metal and the metal scene in gene...
Dave Mustaine: I said I want a skeleton all bloody and ripping himself away from a body, and I WANT IT NOW!

5. "Fire Down Under" by Riot

Is it a seal? Is it a fat lemur? Is it a fat lemur seal? YOU BE THE JUDGE!

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label Guy: Ohhh-kay, Riot. People hardly have even heard of you, so I got this idea for a very eye catching album cover!
Riot: we're in a hurry, but we put our total trust in you on this one!

6. "The Best of Judas Priest: Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest

Judas Priest has a good collection of awesome album covers. This...not so much...

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label: Hey everybody! You've had a great series of album covers, but with Rob's recent coming out of the closet, I think we need to make a great cover that still shows that Priest is testosterone, leather loving,
kick-ass music!
Tim "Ripper" Owens: Yeah, and have the cover say "My name is Rob Halford! I am gay, and proud!" That's how he would have wanted it...
KK Downing: Yeah, I agree... Tim hasn't lead us in wrong direction so far!

7. "Results May Vary" by Limp Bizkit

Yes, they aren't really metal, but I still have to pick on them...

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label Guy: Okay Fred, I hate to say this, but the public hates you. So, I think we need to take that into consideration when making your quasi-comeback album.
Fred Durst: I think the reason why they hate me is because they don't know me. I say put my face on the cover.
Record Label Guy: But...
Fred Durst: PUT MY FACE... ON THE COVER.

8. "Hammer Smashed Face" by Cannibal Corpse

If their covers weren't so blatantly disgusting, they would get their own post, but this is probably the tamest one of the shitty Cannibal Corpse that I could find...

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label Guy: You know what, you're on your own...

9. "Cherry Pie" by Warrant

Apparently no one goes for the subtle approach anymore...

BOARD ROOM MEETING:

Record Label Guy: Okay, I got this idea! Get this... since the song is Cherry Pie is a way referring to Cherry, which means virginity... we will place the CHERRY PIE over a girl's pussy on her clothes. SYMBOLIZING... THE CHERRY! GET IT! DO YA GET IT?!
Jani Lane: Shoot me already... Just fucking blow my brains out right now...

10. "Beastiality" by The Handsome Beasts

This is just wrong on all levels... end of story, I am not even going to do a Board Room Meeting for this one because they were all obviously on some serious stuff when they came up with the idea for this cover...

AND ON THAT NOTE, that is it for today!

Love,
RJ45

Written by :

RJ45