Guest Writers

EarthFairie's Random Pictures I

EarthFairie — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 09:09:51 -0400

Instructions for hat...

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Turbo's Random Pictures I

turbo — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 01:00:29 -0400

I see that random picture posts are popular around here. So, here are some of my favorite random pictures.

The Problem With WikiPedia:

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We Should Look in the Mirror First

TrinityWildCat — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 11:41:31 -0400

Sex Education for Teenagers: We Should Look in the Mirror First

Here’s a little quote I’d like to share with you:

"We kowtow to an ersatz teen "culture" which is heavily sexualised. Many [teenagers], in consequence, have full sex too early, assisted by sex educators handing out condoms and morning-after pills; again there is damage to developing confidence." (Libby Purves, The Times, 17th August 2004.)

Hmm... so, is the writer saying that on the one hand, these young people are not sufficiently mature to have sex for the right reasons (they want it, as opposed to feeling pressured into it), but on the other hand, they are sufficiently mature to only do it with condoms and morning-after pills on offer? Or is the idea that having these essential precautions readily available to teenagers implies that it’s okay for them to have sex?

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The Incredible Hulk Film - Provides Plenty of Destruction

bortz65 — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 10:18:25 -0400

There is a childish joy in destruction. As kids we liked to tear things up or break things down. There was nothing better than the unrestrained Id running wild. As adults where does this desire go? There must be some outlet for our destructive urges. Maybe, this explains the popularity of The Incredible Hulk.

Out of the ashes of 2003's first Hulk movie rises the sequel The Incredible Hulk. Bruce Banner (Ed Norton) is on the run from the U.S. Army and still seeking a cure for his raging transformations into the Hulk. The hope for a cure leads Banner back to the U.S. and to his girlfriend Betty Ross (Liv Tyler.) The army is still on the chase and trying to capture the Hulk in doing so create another, even more terrible Abomination that only the Hulk can stop.

All the characters from the first movie have been recast. Ed Norton is one of the finest actors working today, but he proves the theory that an action movie doesn't need great actors. Any depth of character is pushed aside so as much action can be pumped into the story as possible. Liv Tyler still cries very pretty here and William Hurt as General Ross gets only the slightest character development as a single minded soldier that ends up creating more trouble rather than protecting the country. Tim Roth does an excellent job as Emil Blonsky the one soldier Ross trusts to capture the Hulk.

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One Lone Female

TrinityWildCat — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 09:03:19 -0400

One Lone Female: Female Self-Defence and the Experiences of a Woman in the Martial Arts

I thought now was a good time to look back at my experiences after ten years (on and off) studying martial arts, often as the only female in the class. I should probably start by saying that in the same ten years I’ve also done my GCSEs, my A-levels, my gap year, my degree and found my first real job (and now I feel old!). I’m not a black belt, having, until now, lacked the time and dedication you need to put in to get that far. Having studied three different martial arts (karate, the Japanese art ninjutsu and a combination art called Dragon Boxing) under a total of six teachers hasn’t much helped either, though it does give you a very broad perspective, and some fascinating and weird experiences. For those who want to know, the best guess of all involved is that I’m around halfway to a black belt, with at least two years’ hard work ahead of me to achieve that.

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Good Bands With Bad Hits Compilations

Taylor X — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 09:09:45 -0400

Good bands with bad hits compilations

1. Vault: Def Leppard Greatest Hits by Def Leppard

"This so-called Greatest Hits focuses way too much on their pop stuff, and not enough on the true masterpieces. Start with the Pyromania and Hysteria albums instead."

2. The Best of Deep Purple: Millennium Collection by Deep Purple

"Let's see. This band peaked in the SEVENTIES, but the compilation has nothing but EIGHTIES material!? I don't think I need to say anything else. Rhino's Very Best Of Deep Purple is a fine alternative."

3. Edward the Great: Greatest Hits by Iron Maiden

"This compilation isn't TOO bad, but it has nothing from the Paul Di'Anno days! Likewise, some albums are overemphasized and some overlooked entirely! Best Of The Beast is better."

4. 20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection: The Best of Eric Clapton by Clapton, Eric

"No Yardbirds tracks. Forgivable, I guess. No Bluesbreakers tracks. Forgivable, I guess. BUT NO CREAM SONGS!? UNFORGIVABLE! Get The Cream Of Clapton instead."

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How To Properly Pat A Man's Behind

Dr. mOe — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:38:04 -0400

Yes, I have always envied athletes their freedom of expression. Where else but on a field of sport can you intentionally swat a well-toned rear end as a form of congratulations? Imagine the president of a university doing that as the valedictorian receives her diploma. Harassment right? In fact, I don't know anyone anywhere who can pull this off in public except athletes.

I've studied their technique. It's fairly simple. The fingers must be fully extended, not curled. That's groping. Contact must be brief and to the right or left of the mid line. Also, the ideal spot is around the height of the convexity. Above or below and you risk being labeled a pervert. Finally, you have to say something profound like, "A'ight, baby." (Yeah, the men pat a friend's butt and call him "baby." Go figure. We really need more of this at home in response to exceptional dish washing.) Oh, don't say something lame like, "Excellent work. I'm so proud of you." That's about it except don't linger afterwards. Trot away and don't look back.

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The Incredible Hulk: Not a Kid's Hero

spicyman11 — Fri, 30 May 2008 01:36:34 -0400

So I haven't ever really written an article before. I was thinking today...hmmm...maybe it would be cool to be a space shuttle. I mean if you were a space shuttle, would you ever worry about much, you get to go to the moon...I mean come on, right...wrong, this is bullshit, and I don't agree.

Had to get that out of my system, running people in weird directions is a hobby of mine, ask anyone.

So there is a new Hulk movie on the way as many know. It is titled The Incredible Hulk. I just realized that the last Hulk movie that was out was like PG-13 or something. And I thought to myself, gee, does the hulk really belong anywhere below an R rating. I don't think so.

In the first movie he's pretty tame, except for throwing a tank a mile. Oh wait, the guy inside got out unhurt. I call bullshit! That's what I said, bullshit.

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The Best of WYLFWT.com Webcomics: Last Place Comics

RJ45 — Wed, 21 May 2008 01:01:19 -0400

We have what I consider to be a good webcomics section. While I know this section is awesome, I would like to see some more people both posting and visiting the sections. So, I decided to take the best of these webcomics and put them in digests for people to see. We just got finished doing digests for graphic art and poetry, so now it is the webcomics turn!

This edition, we are covering one of my three favorite WebComics found on WYLFWT.com... Last Place Comics. Zach Cranor, the author, has mastered the art of the totally and randomly absurd endings that really don't have much to do with anything. I think its just some totally hilarious stuff, personally. I hope you all feel the same way!

Enjoy!

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The Best of WYLFWT.com Webcomics: Mad Mad World Comics

TheAllKnowingHead — Sun, 18 May 2008 01:43:33 -0400

This time around, we are doing Mad Mad World Comics by TheAllKnowingHead!

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Prescription Descriptions

Joe Bingham — Mon, 12 May 2008 11:16:20 -0400

Don't you just love pharmaceutical ads?

I had to laugh at one the other day. I mean really laugh, out loud, until everyone was looking at me like I was an idiot.

Why yes, that does happen to me all the time. How did you...?

Never mind.

Anyway, this one was a TV spot for some kind of an anti-depression pill.

The ad started by listing all the positive benefits of taking the drug. "Take control of your depression and get your life back."

Then, it dropped the volume and went into something like 15 minutes of some guy speed reading all the possible side effects associated with taking the drug.

"Possible sexual side effects could occur. However, the most common side effects are high blood pressure, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, blood poisoning, insanity, exploding eardrums, disembowelment, mummification, snot crystallization, increased body odor, psychotic episodes, and an overwhelming urge to seek a public office. In rare instances, these effects were severe and even fatal, especially for those who actually did seek public office."

Then, the volume comes back up and they repeat the benefits.

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The Best of WYLFWT.com Webcomics: Knowing That You Know Nothing

MASIN — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:43:58 -0400

This is a little unknown comic by David Faulk called "Knowing That You Know Nothing." It is discontinued now and Crayon Box is its successor, but it was a great comic and here are some of my favorite editions...

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Hip Hop is Dead

T. P. Sullivan — Tue, 06 May 2008 09:03:53 -0400

"That's it? That's all? What happened to the pimps? What happened to the guns? What happened to the curse words? That's what rap music is all about... right?" - De La Soul

The elements that define hip hop music, especially to the younger generations represent the underdog, the ascension of the maltreated from the ghettos into super stardom. While this is not constitutionally bad, it does generate a sense of unfairness and inequality, typical fuel for distressed minds. This I feel, is not the direction that hip hop impresarios that started it all initially wanted the genre to take.

A quote from Afrika Bambaataa goes as follows: "How you act, walk, look and talk is all part of Hip Hop culture. And the music is colorless. Hip Hop music is made from black, brown, yellow, red and white." These words could not have been carried out any better than through the works of the Native Tongues Posse. The posse, a collective union of creative minds from the late 1980s and early 1990s represented hip hop through ideals that are just recently being brought back. Brandishing Afrocentric lyrics in a more positive note, artists included in the Native Tongues Posse collective pioneered the use of sampling and the infusion of jazz in otherwise redundant hip hop beats.

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The Best of WYLFWT.com Webcomics: Shadensmilen

DarthMike — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:16:12 -0400

Now it's Shadensmilen's turn! It is described as: "Shadensmilen/ noun/ the malicious glee experienced upon witnessing the misfortune of a happy face."

Basically, it is a webcomic about ways to torture smiley faces. Its twisted, and I love it!

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The Joy of Socks

Ben Morrish — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 09:24:09 -0400

I've just put on a new pair of socks.

"Wow, stop right there...that's enough excitement for one day!" I hear you say. Perhaps you're right, but whilst I was putting on the socks I realized something.

When a sock is the "right way" out, the rough sticky-out bits where the stitching is on the INSIDE. Where you foot goes. Those little seam lines are in there waiting to get under or between your toes and make you suffer....sometimes its ok, they don't manage to get into the critical position.

But sometimes, when they know you can't stop to adjust them, they slip into place and every step hurts...it feels like there's a tiny pebble in your shoe, stabbing your foot with every stride.

This problem can easily be avoided by wearing the socks in the way that convention dictates is "inside out". Then your toes get the smooth, soft parts of the sock against them, and the nasty rough seam lines are on the outside, bothering your shoe instead of your foot. Mmm...comfy!

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The Best of WYLFWT.com Webcomics: Grammatically Uncorrect

GramUnc — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:25:57 -0400

This go around it is time for Grammatically Uncorrect! This one has a lot of silly humor and silly puns.

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My 1st Artacil

MyLight — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 09:35:16 -0400

WARNING FROM RJ45, WYLFWT.com OWNER: The following column's view and opinions may not neccessarily reflect those views and opinions of the WYLFWT.com staff.

For the whole story on "Darlene" visit this article: War Time Vol. 2: WYLFWT.com Army vs. MyLight

Hi guys! This is Darlene here to entertain all of you peeple with my first artacil!

1st of all, to answer ur questions, ive been gone because my computer was broke, but I got my cousin harry (he's not really my cousin, but I call him my cousin) to fix it! So, I want to entertain you Do You Want Fries With That?-style!

I know i wasnt the most popular person where since i did that petition, but i really have learned the errors of my ways and i want to be funny like the rest of the gang here like RJ54, Flareholymeteo, BrotherBeatin, and Brynna!

first of all, who is up for killing some babies?!

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Cryptkpr9's LOLStuff

cryptkpr9 — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:22:49 -0500

I have done my own macros.

Here is what RJ45 has to say about macros: "For those who do not know what macros are, just check out: I get inspired sometimes with the weirdest directions. The lolbots, lolcat, I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?, loljocks, and O RLY? are very humorous and something that I love going through in my spare time."

So here they are...

This first pic was taken by me, macro done by RJ45. The person in the picture is SpicyMan.

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You are an idiot.

GivvionNuS — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:18:29 -0500

Test:

Did you leave university at 23 but still maintain a status of perpetual studentness, both in your attire and manner, despite hitting 30 sooner rather than later?

Is your hair uncomfortable but expensive/shit but cool in an NME sense?

Do you wear shoes that are pointy and longer than your face?

Do you buy designer underwear despite knowing that the only thing touching it will be the areas of your body which excretes?

Do you find Family Guy season 4 funny despite it being a repeat of Family Guy season 1 which wasn't that funny?

Do you drive a mini or a volkswagen?

Do you really really really know your music (which means you don't but you know lots of shit bands and in your eyes quantity is better than substance)?

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Snowman Death Pics

cryptkpr9 — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 00:03:52 -0500

I have the formula for my article here:

Bored at Work + A little bit of snow = Pics of Snowman Deaths

Starting off with a drunk snowman...

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Miracle Cures: A Theory That Conspires to Make You Think

Photog — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 00:46:25 -0500

From a solo laymen's perspective, it seems to me there hasn't been many definitive medical breakthroughs in recent memory. Most of the major cures that were discovered have been several years in the past. Cures for polio, chicken pox, malaria, tuberculosis, etc all happened either before or in the early days of my generation.

What's the deal you ask (or maybe its just me)? Why aren't the miracle cures still coming? Well I have a theory.

It seems to me that in this capitalist society that we live in that money is a motivator for a lot of things. Not too many things get done without lots of money. People can't get enough of it. They lie, cheat and steal for it. So if you had a guaranteed residual income coming from a ready-made source that was renewable and your profits could continue to rise, would you work very hard to get rid of that godsend? Doctors, medical facilities, researchers, pharmaceutical companies, pharmacists, etc. are in the business of TREATING illnesses, not CURING them, at least not anymore in my opinion. The longer they can keep you on the string for more office visits, tests, medicines, consultations, x-rays, etc. the more they stand to rake in. Cure what ails you and they just lost a valued customer.

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Verbing the Noun

Avianna — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:25:53 -0400

Masturbation Is Healthy

Although a lot of myths still surround masturbation, over the years societal and medical views of masturbation have changed from considering it a sin to viewing it as a means of sexual and emotional release. According to this author, masturbation is a natural, healthy, and risk-free way to experience sexual pleasure. In fact, sex researchers believe that regular masturbation keeps you healthy mentally and physically. Finally, it can help you learn what sexual activities you enjoy the most; this knowledge, when passed along to your partner, can enhance your sexual pleasure. Liberated Christians, Inc., is a couples fellowship group that promotes sexual intimacy in alternative, nonmonogamous relationships.

You are not insane. You are not blind. You have not grown hair on your palms. You are a completely competent member of society—despite all the times you've done it. Kinsey and the latest Sex in America report show there's a whole lot of shaking going on. Today's sex researchers have come to grips with the fact that masturbation has important physical and emotional benefits for both men and women.

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Medical Students are Human

rickthetwinkie — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 01:04:29 -0400

I think the honeymoon period for medical school is over. At first, medical school was exciting, so full of nice people, smart people, in general good people. There was some grumbling running around that I chose to ignore because most of these people are "still kids" (like me).

Fast forward to now. Right now, I feel disillusioned. And alone. I will now set forth a set of "stereotypes" that I have developed.

Medical students have an "entitlement" complex - Apparently, the medical school is supposed to cater to every student study need, and the student is to not have any responsibility whatsoever. Let me explain: A lot of times, powerpoints are not available before lecture. Also, when they are available before lecture, students complain about having to print them out. Their solution is to put more work on the module director (and the employees of the LRC) to arrange for all the powerpoints to be printed out. Not to mention that they wanted the printouts to be DELIVERED to their mailboxes. Another example: One of our lecturer's textbooks was used for the genetics lectures, and he did not want to claim any royalties (so that it was made clear that there was no conflict of interest). He offered to donate royalties to anything the medical students wished. The first (and only initial) recommendation was a double-sided printer. To me, thats borderline pathetic. A double-sided printer is not a worthwhile cause for free money. Especially when any benefit is low compared to the cost.

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Van Halen Reunited & Ticket Prices

EvilHomer — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 02:18:36 -0400

Hey guys, Evil Homer aka Van Davis here! Yes, it is true. To quote RJ45 himself, "Hell has frozen over and Van Halen has reunited with David Lee Roth."

I was just in Chicago Monday hrough Wednesday and the city was abuzz with the VH announcement. Well, they actually updated their website for the first time in months and they have tour dates and info at: http://www.van-halen.com/tour.html. You can also get plenty of pictures and videos of the VH press event and also what the touring stage looks like at http://www.vhnd.com/articles/070813-03.shtml.

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Women, what the fuck?

johnny red — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 08:00:02 -0400

Working at Wal-mart has put me in a prime people watching location. I get to see all the crazies. However what bewilders me even more than crazy rednecks is the latest trends in women's fashion. So, inspired by my bulletin yesterday about ugg boots here we go:

1. Ugg boots-these things are just fucking hideous. They're huge, they're clunky, the little ball things look childish, and then there's the fact that of all the people I see wearing them, not one is an eskimo. And girls that tuck their jeans into these monstrosities, stop, it looks completely retarded.

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For the Love of Laughs

PuppetMatt — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 02:31:46 -0400

Being in a foreign country, I long for the stage back home.

A few hundred people sit in the Funny Bone Comedy Club in Newport, Kentucky. The audience doesn't notice a guy standing off to the side holding a bag and waiting to get on stage. Then again, why would they? I'm not the center of attention right then.

I take one last look at the crowd. I watched everyone coming in. I watched them during other performances. I notice to the left, there is a couple in their mid 40s. They're not quite enjoying the jokes of the younger comedian on stage right now. I see it as my job to rope them in. Over to the right is a birthday party. I know I'm going to have to talk to them some and see what the story is there. Up in the front row is a gorgeous blond. Unfortunately, it seems she's with her boyfriend. Hope they don't mind getting heckled a little. If they do, they picked terrible seats.

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The Gift

Sheri — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 02:09:52 -0400

Hey WYLFWT.com visitors, this is The Pick's mother

From recent events in my life, I've decided that I won't consider certain things that I've done in my life as "mistakes" anymore. I will never look at my marriages and divorces as "mistakes." How could I? I have the two most wonderful sons a mother could ask for from one of those marriages. So that marriage wasn't a mistake, it was a life lesson. Each time I stepped out in faith and married someone I loved, I did it for the right reasons. And each time I left a marriage, I did it for the right reasons.

Life is this precious gift that people so much take for granted. Some people are given this gift and they're afraid to open it and experience it.

Daily Articles

Douchebags at Office Depot

rickthetwinkie — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 02:12:23 -0400

This guy I work with at Office Depot we will refer to as Douchebag. I call him this because the actual name I want to call him describes me somewhat...

Wait... Douchebag describes me, too. Oh well.

But anyway, back to douchebag. At Office Depot, we have this statistic known as "market basket" percentage, that basically measures how much extra stuff we have fooled you into buying with our major category items (computers, printers, etc.). At the end of the quarter, if we hit a certain percentage, we get a bonus, and, in this case, we are on the borderline of getting a 25 cent per hour bonus for every hour we have worked this quarter. If you can't fool a customer into buying something with a major category item (like a cable with a printer), then you are averaging a 0% into the day's market basket statistic. Well, douchebag says over the radio:

"If they aren't buying a chair mat, we don't have the chair."

Daily Articles

A Big Black Cat Named Huey

LeoLay — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:51:04 -0400

After RJ45 mentioned something in one of his rants yesterday, I wanted to share this experience with you. This goes all the way back to the sixties when I was anywhere from three to six years old, so bear with me here as I am in my forties now. I will share from only my point of view.

My parents and I just had attended a large convention in Oakland CA. I can't quite remember what it was about, but afterward we went around the neighborhood sharing the information and promoting our cause. However, what happened next is something that is hard to forget.

I remember walking along the side walk with my parents. I was walking my little walk and talking my little talk. I remember looking up and seeing the streets full of people. They were just every where. I don't even think any description could really help you appreciate the amount of people. They were holding signs and banners that featured a big black cat a red background. The people were screaming at a large building sitting at the top of steps. Their chant was “Free Huey! Free Huey! Free Huey!” .

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The death of Saturday morning cartoons...

DarthMike — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 02:06:48 -0400

I have finally found not just one but several cartoons that are worse than either the Rambo or He-Man animated series and it makes me sad.

There are several cartoons that are re-imagining of a childhood favorite, or as I like to call it totally screwing the original up. In this category there I certainly place Shaggy & Scooby-Doo and Loonatics Unleashed.

Then come the new kids shows like Bratz and Winx which make the new Sonic the Hedgehog show look like Chaucer which is a whole other level of hurt.

Winx has to be the worst of the lot. A show where scantily clad girls are empowered by their fashion clothing and activate their powers by gyrating and moaning.... fuck a duck! Who the hell thought of that?

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Tales From The River of Spice #3: The Raging Inferno

spicyman11 — Mon, 14 May 2007 10:57:19 -0400

Hey guys, it is SpicyMan. It has been awhile since I last told you a tale, but I promise, this one is worth the wait.

On this particular night I was to help my mother on her paper route. Suddenly, about an hour before we were to go down to the loading station, I became very ill, and by that I mean I was getting a fever and feeling queasy, along with that my nerves were on end for some reason. So I stayed home, It was at that time after I puked I fell asleep and had a dream about fire, a huge fire. I remember waking up to go to the bathroom to puke again, and when I got back from my hurling episode, I started to go back to sleep, after 5 minutes, I heard a knocking at the door. I heard a knock again... this time I woke up and went to the door. I thought a lot of things at this point about who would come to my house at 3 in the morning and that I was going to tell them off cause of my shitty condition at the time.

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Barney Duck For President 2008

J Sheehan — Wed, 02 May 2007 02:28:43 -0400

RJ45: Welcome faithful readers of WYLFWT.com! We are in for a big treat. As most of you already know, Barney Duck announced his intention to run for President of the United States in the highly anticipated 2008 Presidential Elections.

Well, I think it is easy to say that we are most definitely in for a real treat.

Yes, that is right! Barney Duck will be joining us for his first public interview since announcing his plans to run for President in the 2008 Elections for the Creative Response Anarchist Party's (or C.R.A.P.).

First of all, Barney Duck, I want to say that I am a fan, and I am excited to have this awesome opportunity. It is an honor.

Barney Duck: I appreciate that, not many anarchists have a fan base.

RJ45: You are the exception to the rule!

First, I am going to give this opportunity to introduce yourself to anybody who may not know who Barney Duck is and what Barney Duck is all about...

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No Them, There's only us

Antonio88 — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 01:46:44 -0400

What will our generation be remembered for? Mobile phones? iPods? High Definition television? We are the computer generation and yet with all this advancement in technology we live in a world where people are still dying of hunger. This is the 21st century! It is unacceptable!

I want to put you in Africa, the life expectancy is just 33, You have six children in the hope that two will survive in to adulthood. Death soon after birth is so common you refrain from naming your children until two years of age to avoid becoming too attached. Food is a luxury. Your six year old child has become seriously ill the ambulance (donkey and cart) is too far away or too busy and the nearest hospital is a two hour walk. Your child cries in your arms as you trudge across the African planes, her tears fall to the ground and our soaked up by the dirt, an echo of her fate. Your blistered feet reach the tattered hut of the hospital where you are told the 20 cent vaccination needed to keep your child alive is not available. So you lay you child to rest in the recycled grave, the bones of the previous owner removed, a small brick lay atop, no name,

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Presidential Announcement

J Sheehan — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 01:09:59 -0400

Hello Fellow Americans,

I'm Barney Duck and I'm running for Creative Response Anarchist Party's nomination for President of the United States. Together we can change this country and make the politicians in Washington quiver in their expensive boots.

In the coming weeks I'll be laying out my agenda for fixing this country and telling you how you can help (money would be nice, anarchists don't make a lot of cash).

I hope you'll join me in causing as much mischief as possible.

BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.

Barney T. Duck

Spread the word!
Ad our banner to your web page!
Just paste the code in the box into your web page or MySpace page.

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No Parking's Fan Mail (NOT!!)

J Sheehan — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 01:00:40 -0500

Hey everyone, I am J Sheehan. I am here to do a guest spot for today's post.

I am the author and creator of No Parking Web Comics, which is syndicated here on WYLFWT.com. Where the duck is an anarchist, the cat thinks he's Dirty Harry, and the rabbit is...well the rabbit is a hippy who is "out of it" most of the time. Add time travel, rogue nations and the Kennedy assassination and you have No Parking the web comic.

Got this in the email after the March 2nd strip (view here, it has been posted on WYLFWT.com Today, and its at the bottom of this post) I will paraphrase some parts and edit out certain language. Otherwise the spelling is his own.

"Dear Scum Bag

You suck you relgous pig James Cameron found jesuss grave and you cant deal with the fact everything you back a** mother****** beleived in is trashed. Get over it!@!@

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read more

Ramblings of the Abandoned

abandoned1 — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 06:00:00 -0500

So I wonder sometimes... actually more often than not all the time. It's an odd fixation I have. Some of you know me. Most of you don't. So I'll define myself a little for you. I'm the exemplification of a slacker. I do a lot of nothing all the time. Sometimes you might see me just sitting, smoking as my eyes wander. Don't worry. I try not to make eye contact, because I don't really want to talk to anyone, I'm just trying to see everything all at once. On such occasions where I just simply sit, I am actually doing more than anyone else. My mind you see doesn't know how to relax. I don't have a problem with that, but sometimes it makes me mad. Oh well it's fun in my head.

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Where in the World is the United States of America?

abandoned1 — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 06:22:58 -0500

While the fighting men and women of our armed forces are oversees, I feel it necessary to look at the reasoning behind their occupation of both Afghanistan and Iraq. On September 11, 2001 our country suffered it's greatest attack since Pearl Harbor. Soon after Osama bin Ladin, leader of the terrorist group known as Al Queda; took credit for the destruction of the World Trade Center. In usual American fashion, our troops were quick to take up arms and make their way to Afghanistan to find the guilty and avenge our fallen brothers and sisters. As a member of the United States Air Force at that time, I was proud to be a part of such a honorable and essential military action.

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When Snow Turns Into a Nightmare

Mortis — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 06:49:25 -0500

So on the fateful day the snow started I had actually hibernated after a hard day of work and hardly any sleep. But let me set this up for you.

Thursday

I had to work at 6 am. I awake and head to work on about an hour of sleep. After a very long 9 hours at Walmart, also known as hell, I decide to take a nap around 5pm. I wanted to wake up at about 7 to hang out with people and you know be human for a few hours. That didn't happen.

Friday

1AM I awake and realize, "Holy shit! I slept for 8 straight hours!" I had no dinner, so I was rather hungry. So I woke up and cooked myself some Spaghetti O's and watched a little bit of a Full Metal Alchemist DVD. Free Plug: Full Metal Alchemist is the shit!

3:30AM I want to sleep a little before work again, so, I take a short nap.

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Snow Stories Digest 2006

RJ45 — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 08:38:28 -0500

Last Friday, Illinois and much of the Midwest was hit with the biggest snow storm in years. Parts of the state it was 10 inches, other parts 14. The bottom line is, we got hit pretty damn bad! Many of us couldn't leave our homes, developing the biggest cases of cabin fever we probably have ever had.

When I was going to the stores, I was hearing everyone's stories of the obstacles they had to face just get out of their damn driveway! So, I figured that everyone would have a story to tell or some commentary that they could share with everyone. Even if it is a small story or anything of the such. I decided to put out the call for everyone's stories and HERE WE ARE! Enjoy the Snow Digest 2006!

Brynna:

Two Words

White Shit.

One more word.

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Zombie Room Defense

Mortis — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 08:53:51 -0500

Happy Thanksgiving!

In the spirit of the holiday, I suppose it is now my turn to finally join the WYLFWT.com Team. For those who do not know me, I think it is high time I introduce myself. To start off... I work at a faceless and soulless company. You guessed it! Wal-Mart! It is a job and I get paid 10.55 an hour to be the department manager of MEAT. I work with meats all of types, sizes, shapes, and smells. If I am not slaving away, I can be seen in your local Denny's or Steak 'n' Shake. Normally with a large crowd and some Dice or playing Magic the Gathering. In my few moments of free time, I play video games, LARP, listen to music, and, in general, cause chaos.

You can even see me in my favorite WYLFWT? Videos role, "Billy Bob Scratch MY Balls" in this video:

I was recently promoted to "Honorary Team Member" on WYLFWT.com's Facebook Group. RJ said all I needed become a full-fledged Team Member was to have a "Front Page Article."

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The Introduction of Nikon Reviews

Nikon — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 19:00:00 -0400

Hello all, I am Nikon, but you already knew that. At this point, I've given you, the reader, reviews for Superman Returns, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, and Napoleon Dynamite, but that's just the start. In the near future I hope to have a new review out each week, if not more. I hope to be covering Movies, Music, Video Games, TV and whatever I feel like ranting about. I invite you all to read my reviews. Afterwards, post your responses, ideas, and views on the subject. Remember that this is WYLFWT.com. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. So please, if you disagree with myself or anyone posting a comment, follow the golden rule of reviewing "to each their own." I would like to keep the insults to a minimum. A little harmless banter is fine as long as everyone understands that everyone else gets a say and that it is all in fun. So on that note, read, comment, and enjoy.

P.S. I'm also open to suggestions, if you have a movie, TV show, game, CD, or anything you would like me to review, let me know!

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SNAKES...On a Plane!

RJ45 — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 19:00:00 -0400

RJ45: X-Men III: The Last Stand falls down. The Da Vinci Code doesn't crack the code. Superman Returns to nothingness! Over the Hedge...good luck! Nacho Libre gives you gas! Cars...more luck Car Accident! Omen? Shomen! The Break-Up is already broken-up! Click? Well Click It or Ticket, asshole! Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties is now a Tale of One Kitty! Fast and the Furiest III is the Slow and the Unmotivated Negative Three!.

None of those blockbusters will reach the total reeking of awesomeness and such a high octane of coolosity that is.... SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!

SpicyMan: Snakes on a plane...I mean, how cool can you get...genius!!! It has everything, snakes, a plane, and you put both together. You have a perpetual masterpiece of epic proportions "It's like looking at the face of god and him saying you are his greatest creation"

EmmyLouAngel: There's just something about Snakes 'on a mother fucking' Plane... that I have to see...

5iN: I'm just pissed off we didn't think of this first...

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Tales From The River of Spice #2: The Finger

spicyman11 — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 19:00:00 -0400

WARNING: The following story may be considered too graphic for some. It is just another astonishing tale of SpicyMan. Please do not be eating your lunch while reading this story.

Have you ever just had one of those days at the beginning of summer? You just want to embrace life and you really can't understand what your problem had been for so long? At that time, it is all so simple, right?

Anyway, I was having a good day at work. I work at a fast food sub-sandwich kind of place. The best part of the whole "Healthy Sub Sandwich" deal is that many summer dressed hot women came into my place of work. Fuck yeah, tank tops and short shorts for everybody! I will take some fries with that too. However, what little did I know that what was an eye candy-fest day would soon turn into a rather shitty-ass day.

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Tales From the River of Spice #1: The Strip Club

spicyman11 — Sun, 26 Mar 2006 19:00:00 -0500

I wrote this while I was drunk, but thankfully RJ45 & the Spice have went over it a bit so its actually more on the coherent side. First of all, yes, I know I shouldn't drive under the influence. Let us just get that one out of the way. I don't need nor want the lectures. I am just telling this in the spirit of a good story

"Okay, so I am drunk right now. I wish I had a girl with me right here, right now. Then again, I'm being rather overly honest, as per the usual of being drunk. Dude, would I still ravage her!

Anyway, I just got back from the strip club and I drank quite a bit. The grand total is: 3 jegar bombs, 1 bud light, and something called an Irish Carbomb, which was bad-ass and super strong.

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Reputations

crysco — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 19:00:00 -0500

I think this comment is a huge contradiction because her fame is solely based on what other people think. If she didn't intentionally act like an airhead and a whore, she wouldn't have any media attention and no one would care about who Paris Hilton was.

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KiP v2 #11 - I heart teh old skool, y0!

Mortis — Sat, 10 Dec 2005 19:00:00 -0500

For those of you who don't follow LiveJournal, I'd like to repost something by Mortis301, AKA Rod. Contained within is a response I made to said post, and an anonymous comment. I will NOT repost the comment, mostly due to the fact that I won't repost something written by someone I don't know.

This is the kind of work that came of of KiP back in it's prime, I hope you enjoy it...

from: http://www.livejournal.com/users/mortis301/22015.html

This will be aimed at no one, unless you take offense to what I have to say

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Today's Filming

spicyman11 — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 19:00:00 -0400

I just got back from Meadow Valley Park and the taping went very well, I must say. We did the first "running in a field" bit with me and the box. What was great was that Shannon made a costume out of boxes so the fishing line thing was out. It was absolutely badass looking. The scene went very well. we did some behind the scenes stuff that Josh is apparently producing. Even that was funny as hell. After Shannon left for work me and Davitt started on a skit idea of his called "REALLY HARD ABS!!!". That ended up really funny. Well, we did part of that skit and josh was on the phone so we got more behind the scenes stuff. after that we tried to pick up more on rock hard abs but I was starting to get tired so my ad-libing was starting to drag plus the camera was about to die. and part of the way through watching our footage it did. so that was our filming so far today.

They were saying that after me and Shannon get off work today that we were going to try part of the brand new Paranormal Conspiracies of etc. skit with Shannon coming back from something and basically doing the skit with me, Shannon and Sam.

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