Would You Like Fries With That? #593 01.07.2009

Would You Like Fries With That? - For over 9 years, the revolutionary force in online entertainment!

(Warning: Your warning is your face.)

"Cause it would take a lot more hate than you to end the fascination, even with an iron fist. All they got to rule the nation, when all I've got is precious time!" - "Chinese Democracy" by Guns 'n' Roses

Welcome to WYLFWT edition 593, this is the 593rd edition of the column that started it all here on WYLFWT.com... Would You Like Fries With That?

So ladies and gentlemen, that now just leaves me with just one question... ARE YOU READY? No, I said ARE YOU READY?

Then, for the thousands reading this today, and for the millions reading this in the future, LLLEETS GET READY TO CRRUUMMMBBLLEE!!!

Now, without further ado, let's go with this month's random jokes/puns/rants/musings/etc... plus with a very special "RJ45's Way to Solve Some of The United States of America's Problems"

TRUE LOVE: True love is finding someone who is willing to put up with exactly 97% of your bullshit for the rest of your life.

• How to Increase Our Average National School Test Scores: Send all of the dumb kids to Japan. That way, we both simulteanously increase our test scores and lower Japan's.

• How to Get Rid of Racism - Make all of the members of KKK and other similar groups blind. That way, they will join the fight against discrimination since they are in a minority group now, and they can't be racist since they can't see!

• How to Lower the Crime Rate - Legalize most narcotics, prostitution, and other pointless laws. That way, those frequently broken laws will not be counted in the crime rate.

• How to Get Rid of the National Debt - Rename it to "National Credit." That way, the national debt is gone and the word "credit" is a much more positive word to use.

• How to Lower Unemployment - Count "Masturbating Daily," "Sitting at Home Eating Doritoes," and "World of Warcraft" as jobs.

With these ingenious ideas, many of our problems could be solved!

CATHOLIC RITUALS: Is anyone else just slightly creeped out by the fact that a Catholic mass involves pretend cannabilism?

CORN SYRUP - Did you know that corn syrup is made from corn, and like sugar, is okay in moderation?

Did you care either way?

Muntazer al-Zaidi: It took 8 years, but finally somebody finally chucked something at President Bush. To be honest with you, I can't think of a person more fitting than a resident of Iraq, a nation which was actually screwed over more than the US was under Bush's administration (a thought in and of itself is pretty scary).

Iraq Thoughts, Part 2: Okay, how is it that we invade a country ruled by a murderous sociopathic dictator, and we manage to fuck up "the good thing they had going with Suddaam?"

- People who quote the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and try to pass it off as their own original thoughts.
- People who take what video game console somebody else owns as a personal offense if they didn't buy what you had.
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People who have dogs named "Killer," "Satan" or "Princess Puppy Bark Bark."

I think I am going to explode on outta here! Till next time!

The painkiller! The innovator. The master mind. The albatross. Mister RJ45 himself. He is...

Richie "RJ45" Jackson!

P.S. Would You Like Fries With That?