Would You Like Fries With That? #590

Would You Like Fries With That? - For over 9 years, the revolutionary force
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"I blind my eyes and try to force it all into place. I stitch them up, see not my fall from grace. I blind my eyes, i hide and feel it passing me by! I open just in time to say goodbye!" - "This Just Was Your Life" by Metallica

Welcome to the 590th edition of the column that started it all here on WYLFWT.com... Would You Like Fries With That?

So ladies and gentlemen, that leaves me with just one question... ARE YOU READY? No, I said ARE YOU READY?

Then, for the thousands reading this today, and for the millions maybe reading this in the future, LLLEETS GET READY TO HUMMMBBLLEE!!!

Last month, I had a lot of material saved up. This month, not so much. However, I hope you enjoy it nevertheless.

So, without further ado, let's go with this month's random jokes/puns/rants/musings/etc...

VOTE - Before I get to anything today, I want to encourage everyone to get out there, get registered to vote and vote on election day. That goes to anyone... Democrat, Republican, Green, Libertarian, Socialist, Independant, or one of those assholes who writes in "Mickey Mouse". Whatever it may be. This election is perhaps one of the more important ones we've had in awhile, and we don't need people bitching about who got elected if they didn't even vote.

Windshield Wipers? - So they released a movie recently called A Flash of Genius. This movie is about the inventor of the intermittent windshield wiper. Yeah, you just read that.

Although the movie has gotten great reviews, I refuse to pay money to see a movie about the dirty greedy business of windshield wipers. I draw my line in the sand right fucking there.

Stock Market - The great thing about the stock market crashing is that I am in the lower class that has been in poverty since Bush took office. I've been experiencing an economic downturn ever since Bush signed off on giving tax breaks to corporations who outsource jobs!

So, seeing all of these Wall Street assholes who put all of their money into the stock market freak out is EXTREMELY entertaining. It is like "Welcome to the real world, dipshits! Nice to see you. This is your new piece of shit car. You're going to need to put oil in it every 4 days. This is your bread box apartment. BTW, the air conditioner barely works. Oh yeah, and here is your new fucking job at a call center where you do a shit ton of work for little pay. Welcome to life under the Bush Administration!"

I say, all of these guys who commit suicide because their stock portfolio looks pretty shitty, we take their remaining money and put it back into Wall Street instead of this $700 billion dollar bailout bullshit.

MY SOURCE? RUSH LIMBAUGH - I hate it when people use Rush Limbaugh as a source for anything... even if its a paper on Rush Limbaugh. He's not a source. He's an entertainer... a very annoying loud mouth dickhead entertainer.

It is as bad as using Michael Moore as a source. (See how I was trying to be fair there?)

STUPID BATHROOM GRAFFITI - So, I was in a public bathroom the other day. I love reading what people write on the walls. My personal favorite would be "I Like Vagina" and another guy wrote underneath it "Real Men Call it Pussy!"

However, I saw someone actually write "SAVE FREE SPEACH!"

It got me to thinking...

Speech is free, but a dictionary is going to cost you.

AFTER DARK - I love how the expression "After Dark" is used to describe the period of the day for when after people go to bed. Technically, isn't After Dark the daytime? Wouldn't what we use "After Dark" for actually be After Light?

Okay, I think it is quite obvious spent way too much time thinking about that one.

AN AMERICAN CAROL - So they have this movie that parodies Michael Moore called An American Carol. Its a huge right wing movie, and the right wing conservative analysts are excited. Personally, I wouldn't get too excited about a movie parodying a guy about 4 years too late, made by David Zucker who did some great American classics such as Scary Movie 4 and BASEketball.

But that's just me.

October 2008's
"A list of people I Can Do Without"