Would You Like Fries With That? #582: New Car Smell Perfume Girl Pick-Up Lines

Would You Like Fries With That? - For over 9 years, the revolutionary force in online entertainment!

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"What is it I'm after. Searching for disaster. Watching my whole life flash in front of my eyes. We've been given answers. Still we're walking cancers, dressed up as a life! " - "Cancer" by Sick Puppies

::"WYLFWT?" by This Burning Earth plays as the crowd hit their feet, and RJ45 comes out and parties with the crowd for the entire song and then finally hits the stage!::

Welcome everyone to another edition of Would You Like Fries With That?

... ... .. .. ... ...Now, of course, if you aren't down with that.... We got one simple question. Just one thing we have to say to you. Just one question for you.

WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?

Another month, another random column full of random thoughts and everything else! We may be a couple of days late, but we are here! ENJOY!

There is some female that I work with who I swear to god has New Car Smell as her perfume. Just as a heads up to everyone else... "New Car Smell: Great for cars, NOT FOR PEOPLE."

However, for those who run into a female using New Car Smell as her perfume, I have just come up with some fantastically awful pick-up lines:

- "Hey baby, do you need my cables to jump your battery?"

- "Allow me to use my keys to turn your ignition."

- "Sounds like your motor could use some muffling!"

- "Do you need me to help you with some things in your trunk?"

- "Want me to take a look under your hood?"

- "Lets use my dipstick to check your fluid levels."

And for those seeking to get slapped within 3 seconds....

- "I hear my sperm is like gasoline!"

Cradle of Filth going "RAR! Look at us. We are Black Metal wannabes who also wish they were pirates. YARGH! Give me treasure!"

So they call our local casino boat the "Paradice." You see.... you take the word Paradise and you take the word dice. You see they use DICE IN SEVERAL GAMBLING GAMES, like in the game of craps. So you get PAR (instead of Pair, which is two)-A-DICE. BUWAHAHAHAHAHA! Those guys are motherfucking geniuses!

At a party, I once proposed that we all play Strip Candy Land, I was then promptly turned into the police for child endangerment.

I watched Friday the 13th Part 1 the other day. I loved it to pieces.

Quoting Rush Limbaugh as a serious source for anything is almost as laughable as quoting Stephen Colbert as a serious source for anything.

RICHIE "RJ45" JACKSON!!!!

P.S. Would You Like Fries With That?