TPPP v2 #6 - Married Man Upper Arm Pad

True Psycho Phreak Products, the inventors of The Screaming Pillow and The Ball Sack plus providers of such services as Beat the Shit out of Somebody and Put a Punk In Their Place has come out with a new product for you all.

You see, as the President of True Psycho Phreak Products, RJ45, is entering marriage, he sees a want, scratch that, A NEED for products to assist the married man in his day to day activities.

As men, let us face it, we are stubborn. We have thoughts and we are not afraid of expressing them, no matter how dumb they may be.

Women, you gotta face it, the only way sometimes to get through to us is by punching, slapping, or jabbing the guy in the arm. You don't want to inflict pain, but you want to make your point.

So, True Psycho Phreak Products has come up with a product to suit everybody's needs! We call it the Married Man Upper Arm Pad. Simple name, GREAT PRODUCT.

Now, one might look at those products and say "You just took some ADIDAS Elbow pads and put up a picture here, there is no real product!"

Look closer, the fabric is made of new chemical compound engineered by our scientists called Slap-o-fiber. What this Slap-o-Fiber does is that it detects when you get slapped and it then goes into overtime trying to absorb the slap, and use that to massage the arm, rather than inflict pain.

After we developed the Slap-o-Fiber, we then had our best sweat shop worke... err... we mean Designated Company Representatives and put these pads together. In terms of testing the pads durability, we hired this man...

Floyd Mayweather Jr... Welterweight Boxing Champion

Floyd Mayweather Jr proceeded to beat the shit out of the Married Man Upper Arm Pad and it withstood the test with barely any wear or tear. Once that was done, we knew it was time to pass the next test. THE FIELD TEST.

In testing, we gave Married Men Upper Arm Pads to a lawyer, a Shock Jock Radio DJ, a comedian, and a politician and made sure they didn't tell their wives. They noticed quite a difference.

Of course, don't just take our word for it, let the pictures do the talking!

BEFORE THE MARRIED MAN UPPER ARM PAD:

(The typical married man's upper arm)

AFTER THE MARRIED MAN UPPER ARM PAD:

(SEE THE DIFFERENCE?)

Women, now you can have that normal reflex without worrying on weather you will hurt your man. Men, now you can say all the stupid shit that you want!

You can pick up the Married Man Upper Arm Pad in the Health and Beauty section of your local Wal-Mart or in the band-aid aisle at your local drug store. Or you can call us at 555-PADS. Our representatives are standing by!