Snow Stories Digest 2006

Last Friday, Illinois and much of the Midwest was hit with the biggest snow storm in years. Parts of the state it was 10 inches, other parts 14. The bottom line is, we got hit pretty damn bad! Many of us couldn't leave our homes, developing the biggest cases of cabin fever we probably have ever had.

When I was going to the stores, I was hearing everyone's stories of the obstacles they had to face just get out of their damn driveway! So, I figured that everyone would have a story to tell or some commentary that they could share with everyone. Even if it is a small story or anything of the such. I decided to put out the call for everyone's stories and HERE WE ARE! Enjoy the Snow Digest 2006!

Brynna:

Two Words

White Shit.

One more word.

SUCKS

(You can't tell I live in the Midwest, can you? My town received 11 inches of that white crap.)

the_ninja_style:

So it snowed a little bit... 18 inches of a little bit. That was fine, I had no where to go on Thursday and Friday.

Our parking lot was not plowed on Friday. The guy came and plowed for like a minute and then decided he wasn't feeling it and left. Saturday, an SUV decided "Aw hell we can make it!" and got stuck in the snow. This SUV, had been, blocking our entrance/exit for the next 3 hours.
Even if the snow plow man was more up for doing his job today, he couldn't because now he can't get to the parking lot.

My car was a little black dot, covered and surrounded by snow. I really had wish that I could leave to do things such as work, pick up my paycheck...and, oh yeah, did I mention LEAVE?

Well, just as that second call in was pending, some dude shows up with a back ho. That's right, a back ho. I'm on my couch, playing Halo with some friends and one of them goes, "Do you hear farm equipment?"

We mute the TV and after a second we hear scraaaaaaaaape. So, we look outside and there is this crazy guy driving around with this... THING. He cleaned the parking lot better than anyone ever has though.

Now, I had to borrow a snow shovel from my neighbor to get rid of the small strip of snow that is right behind my car but at least I can now make it to work.

iaminfactgod:

I started off with shoveling for 2 hours to get my car unstuck. (Did I mention the the plow guy had finally arrived just as soon as I get my car out?). I went to Citgo for cigarettes, soda and Cheez-Its. I come home. I'm stuck again! 4 words remain... Boxers, Cigarettes, Soda, Cheez-Its...Those were only things that kept me sane

Sebrina:

Friday morning, had 14 inches of snow on the ground here in Princeville, IL.

I first shoveled my 75 foot long driveway for about an hour. When, I got back to where I had started, there were 3 more inches!

Yup, there was going nowhere at that point. (7:10  A.M) 

By the time it was all said and done, my husband and I threw a yard stick in the snow in the middle of our front yard with undisturbed snow. It was 18 and 1/4 inches total!

Stay warm!!

Muerdame:

I woke up at 7:00am that fateful morning. I looked at the clock and wondered why I was still waking up so damn earlyy) I turned on the TV, saw that school was cancelled, and cheered! It was then when I realized that I didn't have school anyway.

My dad, however, had to work that morning, he had to leave at 9:45. I hadn't yet looked outside, but I knew there was some snow on the ground from the news broadcast and the forecast the night before.

I meandered about a bit, took a shower, prepared to face the cold in order to be a good son (for once) and shovel the driveway for my poor father. I finally opened the front door at 8am, fully geared for a good hour of shoveling. I forced the storm door open against the snow and my jaw dropped. The broadcast had said 9-12 inches of snow. Well I must have received the shittiest snowdrift in the neighborhood. I had between 2 and 4 feet of snow everywhere that I had intended on shoveling. I took a deep breath and began the battle against my glistening white foe. shovel full after shovel full. I saw my victory very, VERY slowly approaching, but I saw it nevertheless.

My father opens the door and discovers me using any working muscles I had left shoveling through 3 feet high of snowdrift and breaking up the inch of ice below that. I conquered the snow enough to pull my car into the garage and allow my father to pull out, at the very least. After 2 hours of battle, I had won! I was victorious! I reached my mailbox and the street! the driveway was clear! I had to rub my eyes in disbelief of what I saw next. I checked the time. It was 10am. The snow had stopped falling, for the most part. My street was one giant 2 foot drift of snow. A plow had not even touched it! After all of my hard work! I was defeated.

There was nothing to do but wait for a plow to come by. By noon, with no plow in sight, my father decides that he HAS to be at the airport in order to relieve people who had been working since 3am. He takes off in his 4x4 explorer and braves the snow. He actually makes his trip, but has to veer around minivans, Saturns, and other random people who, for some reason, thought their car with an eight inch ground clearance could drive through two feet of snow. I was trapped, fated to go nowhere until a plow could come and release me. Shame on Washington public works, my street did not get plowed until sometime between three and four in the afternoon, over five hours since it had stopped snowing. Now as soon as I can scrape the inch of ice off of my car, I can go somewhere!

Jessica Mayhem:

On that fateful Friday, at 5 p.m. the snow plow FINALLY comes down our street. Of course, he keeps his plow up the whole way down... basically accomplishing nothing. I'm pretty excited that I pay taxes right now.

FlareHolyMeteo:
 

Whoa, Champaign only got like 0.5 inches.

RJ45:

Okay, first of all...Fuck you Flare!

There is a lot of great stories there. I guess now it is my turn!

Friday morning, my fiancé calls, worried.

"Are you going to work?"

I tell her I will consider calling after I take a look outside.

Of course, that consideration took as long as it took me to open the door to look outside. The parking lot was in pretty bad shape. The white shit was everywhere. Stacked pretty fucking high!

Later in the day, my mother needed to get her medication. Kind of crucial.

So, I had to scrape off the car. No scraper. Nothing that even resembles a scraper. I warm up the car and get MOST of the ice off. Vijay, the motel owner, digs out my car. I pulled around the building. My car gets stuck.

Vijay and I dig it out for awhile. Going back and forth. Then, some random tenant comes out. He's wearing Veteran related clothing. He starts ordering my military style on getting this car unstuck. "BACK! FORWARD! TO THE RIGHT! BACK! TO THE LEFT! FORWARD!"

It worked too. Thank god. Sometimes, its great when people volunteer to think for you.

I drive up to CVS. They have no scrapers. Just everywhere else is closed. So...I get a shoe horn. Scrape off most of the car. I pull it back into my parking lot. THE CAR GETS STUCK AGAIN!

At this point, Vijay informs me that this would be Car #10 for him to dig out. I try to take the shovel from him, but he won't let me. English is BARELY his second language, so there is a huge language barrier.

He continues to dig, but then I start hearing him wheeze! He won't stop! He won't give me the shovel. I wanted to shake him! Indian culture studies states that they hate having their personal space messed with and hate being touched.. You know what? I shook him anyway! I told him to "GO!" HE smiles, says Thank you...and apparently went inside to throw up as Laura, the Maintenance Lady that I keep on accidentally calling Barb, informed me. I leave the car. Its in the way, but its not too bad.

In the morning on Saturday, we call the towing companies. Yeah...nothing till THE NEXT DAY. I get to miss work again and wait till some of the snow melts. Not to mention the fact the car is about out of gas and is, once again, covered in ice.

I have someone give me a ride to the grocery store in the mean time. It could be the whole fucking weekend. A plow still can't even come out to our parking lot!

I come out AND...my car is mysteriously cleaned off. Woo hoo! There is still a little snow around me, but, I think with some work, we could get the damn thing out!

Drill Sergeant Man returns saying "OH!! Don't tell me you got stuck again!"

We return to "BACK! FORWARD! BACK! FORWARD!"

Thank god, I got out. YAY! I get some gas in that bitch...and I had park my car in the Dairy Queen parking lot for the meantime. I mean seriously? What was I harming? Their ice cream business?

Now, of course, I am not going to book myself for the main event of this little column just because I'm the website owner! Nope, I saved the best for last!

MG:

I have about a 40 minute commute from Washington, IL to Bloomington IL. The drive up there wasn't too bad. Of course, I had to leave for work at 2:30 A.M. in the morning on that Friday. So, the story didn't really get started till about when I was almost at work.

The ride home also wasn't too bad. Most of the main roads were plowed. I did reach some rough parts, but nothing I couldn't handle. However, it was all a different story when I had arrived on my own street.

I pulled in and my car got stuck. Thankfully, there were some teenagers that helped dig me out  and get my car unstuck. Unfortunately, there car was in the way, and they then found out that there car was stuck. So, I helped them for a good thirty minutes get their car going.

Finally got back to my car only to realize one small insignificant detail...

I locked my damn keys in my car!

My house was just up the road. However, to get into the house, I have to shovel out my front door! I got in, got my keys, I get back, I have to now shovel my driveway. I finish that up, and I park my car, and was finally inside my home, hoping to never return to the outside ever again!

About as bad as the storm of 1979, where Illinois had close to 20 inches of snow. Then, my car got stranded 30 minutes away from home. So, I had to stay in a motel for a few days. My car got towed finally, but it was full of snow. I had to wait a few days for the snow to melt. Once that was done, I got in to start my car...after all of that, my car needed a new starter! Murphy's Law at its best!

I guess its just the luck of the draw for me.

 ...and that is it! As you can see, just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, just consider yourself lucky...at least you didn't lock your damn keys in the car!

Just because this digest is over doesn't mean the stories are. Share us yours if you have one!

RJ45
MG
Muerdame
the_ninja_syle
Jessica Mayhem
iaminfactgod 
Brynna
FlareHolyMeteo