| Title | Author | Posted |
|---|---|---|
| Yeah......... | The Frenchman | 12/03/2008 - 11:07pm |
| WHO NEEDS GUNS?! | RJ45 | 12/03/2008 - 5:42pm |
| WHOOOOOOOO | spicyman11 | 12/03/2008 - 5:38pm |
| HA! | spicyman11 | 12/02/2008 - 10:12pm |
| Right With White is a stark | LukeBusy (not verified) | 12/02/2008 - 3:44pm |
SNAKES...On a Plane!
Submitted by RJ45 on Thu, 06/29/2006 - 6:00pm.
RJ45: X-Men III: The Last Stand falls down. The Da Vinci Code doesn't crack the code. Superman Returns to nothingness! Over the Hedge...good luck! Nacho Libre gives you gas! Cars...more luck Car Accident! Omen? Shomen! The Break-Up is already broken-up! Click? Well Click It or Ticket, asshole! Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties is now a Tale of One Kitty! Fast and the Furiest III is the Slow and the Unmotivated Negative Three!.
None of those blockbusters will reach the total reeking of awesomeness and such a high octane of coolosity that is.... SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!
SpicyMan: Snakes on a plane...I mean, how cool can you get...genius!!! It has everything, snakes, a plane, and you put both together. You have a perpetual masterpiece of epic proportions "It's like looking at the face of god and him saying you are his greatest creation"
EmmyLouAngel: There's just something about Snakes 'on a mother fucking' Plane... that I have to see...
5iN: I'm just pissed off we didn't think of this first...
FlareHolyMeteo: It's an event bigger than the second coming of Chirst! It's SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!
RJ45: Yeah, well...we could always do CATERPILLARS on a PLANE. Seriously, its easy, you take ANYTHING, and I mean anything in this world....put in a plane, and you have total Zen. Total enlightenment. A thing of beauty that not even a blonde with C cup boobs, 29 inch legs, and a perfect round ass can surpass the mere concept and thought shower that is SNAKES...ON A PLANE!
Think about it:
- CATERPILLARS... ON A PLANE!
- PASSENGERS...ON A PLANE!
- OREO COOKIES... ON A PLANE!
- GOPHERS... ON A PLANE!
- INANIMATE CARBON RODS...ON A PLANE!
BrotherBenton: Not down at all
"wah wah wah waaaaaahh"
Sorry, I don't dig lazy people or Harry Potter, either. but hey, that's me.
The Pick: Yeah, when I saw previews for this movie, I was thinking "is this supposed to be a funny movie or something?" I couldn't stop laughing. Snakes on a fucking plane? Honestly, does anyone know in what way this movie explains the presence of loose, wild, venomous snakes on a plane?
There's no way that's even remotely plausible, not even for Hollywood, so I assumed it was some kind of comedy. I'm sure it'll find scenematic infamy among the likes of Weekend at Bernie's 2 and The Brothers Grimm.
RJ45: AHHH! NON-BELIEVER! How dare you compare the mere concept of Snake on a Plane. How does this movie explain the presence of snakes? Well, we will have to find out when we see the movie, but I bet you it'll be be wonderful and great. Don't believe me? Check out some of these Snake on a Plane facts found through various sources!
1. The movie has already swept the Oscars for 2006. It has already been decided Snakes on a plane has won 38 awards. It will only be nominated for 36.
2. Samuel L. Jackson has signed on for 15 more sequels.
3. Iran will abandon their nuclear weapon ambitions for a snake-training academy program.
4. It has been reported that this movie will probably save 15,345 lives over the next year including stopping people from suicide due to the anticipation of the sequels, the movie also includes a code for the cure for cancer if you pay close attention.
5. Steven Spielberg, Michael Mann, and Robert Zemeckis have already been reported to of seen the film in order to "take notes" on learning how makes better films.
6. Will Linn and Chuck Norris have already gave this film two thumbs up.
7. The United States Government is considering creating a commission to determine what element makes this movie so awesome after tons of controverter. Many speculate the fact that the snakes are in the film while other consider the fact that Samuel L Jackson says "Mother F'er". Another report suggests that the plane is a key element in the film. A small group believes that this movie has the actor from another classic blockbuster "Good Burger" and there have been theories that "Good Burger" and "Snakes on a Plane" have strong connections with their respectable audience.
8. NASA has "Snakes on a Plane" playing in loop over a deep space satellite transmission. This way, when the aliens pick up our transmission, their first impression of the human race is that we made the greatest movie in the entire universe.
9. Superman tried to save the people on the plane from the snakes, but he could not fly fast or high enough to catch up with a plane with snakes on it.
10. The Bible's first verse will be re-written: "In the beginning God created the plane and the snakes."
In all seriousness, though...I will admit that Snakes on a Plane is not a blockbuster. You know why? Because it has achieved a status BEYOND blockbuster!. It is a Blockbusterbuster. It busts those that whom already bust blocks! That's one step up!
5iN: I want to do a parody of this....
Snakes on the Millennium Falcon
We still cast Samual L Jackson, but we cast him as Mace Windu and there are SNAKES on the FALCON!!
It's genius
RJ45: NO! YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T REMOVE THE PLANE! The plane is what makes the movie. Sure, we have seen movies about Snakes and about planes, BUT NEVER TOGETHER. That would be a disgrace if we bring in that crappy unknown movie called Star Trek or Wars or Civil War or whatever...into something that has achieved the glow and a whole new level of Zen...Snakes on a Plane. I might settle for a different animal, BUT NOT THE PLANE!!!
RARRR! THIS RAGE IS BRINGING OUT THE ALBATROSS IN ME!
I'M ALBATROSS AGHGHGHG!AHGHGHGHGHH!!!!!!
5iN: Don't make me angry....
...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...
RJ45: Or what...you send out the dogs, or the bees....or the dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark they shoot bees out of their mouth. WELL, GO AHEAD...DO YOUR WORST!
5iN: No, I turn green, grow in size, and then start smashing things with no regard to those around me.
SpicyMan: I got these I don't know, Adamantium claws, and this whole healing factor thing...and I can spin webs and shit...wait
Anyway, I'm angry too!!! Smashing shit while it looking cool because my special effects are better than your special effects!!!
RJ45: HA! So Mr. Incredible Hulk, you think you are all powerful, right;? Well, there is one thing you don't have...
EAT SNAKE BITCHES!
Our special effects also ABOLISH SpicyMan's Special Effects...
BrotherBenton: I have really missed out on something here, haven't I?
I have never ever heard of "Snakes on a mother fucking Plane" until a couple days ago on this site.
I suppose I have in fact been living under a rock.
RJ45: Yes, you have!
But, hey, I have a wonderful idea for the night of the launch of SNAKES ON A PLANE (on August 18).
I say, we make a WYLFWT.com Event. We gather as many of us as we can. We take pictures. Some of us can paint our faces as snakes (or wear a mask or something). Then, we write a review...treat this movie as if we are watching Shakespeare (which, well...it is beyond Shakespeare). Those that want to take notes can. You are not obligated to do anything other than enjoy the movie. Give it a nice blow by blow written a bit by all of us. We go to IHOP or Steak n Shake afterwards and I collect the notes or we write stuff out.
What do you think?
Emmy:What if I dressed up like a plane and then bought plastic fake snakes and draped them on my body?
5iN:...and then we'd have to worry about the pilots trying to get in your cockpit
RJ45: ... BASTARD... ...>
To Be Continued August 18th at theaters. Expect our review oh maybe somewhere in the August 20th to 25th range?
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