24 Hours of MTV: Moron Television

MTV: Music Television. At one time, this was a revolutionary channel that changed the way we view music 

Today: What is this channel even about anymore? I can't figure it out. So, a few months ago, I decided to do a little experiment.

In a 24 hour period, I stayed up for one whole day just to see how much music is really on the channel. It was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. It all started about 2 p.m. I watched 24 straight hours, with the help of lots of coffee and candy bars to help me, along with my brother smacking me every time I started to doze off.

Without further ado, here is the rundown of my experiment...

Here's the list of shows I struggled to watch with every inch of me.

Parental Control. Yeah, that show was kind of funny. The parents set up dates for their kids who are already dating. The kid then has to choose between their current boyfriend/girlfriend or the two selected candidates. People getting into fights and hilarity ensues. However, this isn't music. You know what made it worse? In my 24 hours of MTV, there was 3 hours of Parental Control ALONE. Hurray for MTV shoving Parental Control down our throats like overplayed music on the radio.

TRL. Yay! Could it be music? Not hardly. In fact, they only played five of the Top Ten songs, and, of those clips, there was only like 10-15 seconds of them. Can I ask a question? What the hell is the point of requesting a video if you don't even get to watch it? Not to mention that half of the songs basically sucked.

Well after that was Yo Momma! There are only three words you need to know about Yo Momma! DUMBEST. SHOW. EVER. The guy who plays That 70s Show's Fez basically dresses and talks like a gangster, with his catchphrase, "$1000 Cash Money." Not joking. Those very words. The contestants play for $1000 Cash Money by making fun of their allies mothers and their clothes etc. DUMB!

After this show was Sucker Free Sunday. In this wonderful show, this rap musician hosts a show of his favorite rap videos. Well, in reality, you only see like 4 videos. The rest of Sucker Free Sunday is this self-centered rap guy promoting himself, his clothing line, and his CD. Yeah, that's a GREAT show!!! (18x sarcasm).

Three hour block time again! This time up it's, My Super Sweet Sixteen. The one show that makes you scream, "Please God! If you are up there! SHOOT ME!" The shows "premise" is sixteen year old girls, who are already rich, yelling, kicking and screaming because everything isn't just right. They are getting into Porsches, Land Rovers and what have you. They end up pissy because it's not the color of Porsche they wanted. WAKE UP SWEETIE, YOU JUST GOT A FUCKING PORSCHE!!!!!!!! Anyone else would do anything, and I do mean just about anything, for their first car to be a Porsche. I'm just glad there aren't girls like that around here. Otherwise, I would be in prison right now doing 25 to life.

It was about this time that I kept thinking, "I'm only 20, and I'm already out of the loop! What the hell is going on here?"

Then Real World came on. Believe it or not, it was actually not bad, except for the fact that I hate reality shows.

4:00 A.M. hits. MUSIC! HA HA! Four straight hours of music! ::Starts singing 500 Miles::

Back to old ways again at 9:00 with some dumb show that I don't even remember as I was getting pretty damn tired at this point. After that, we had 2 hours of Real World/Road Rules, an hour of Laguna Beach, (Please dear God When will it end!) More Parental Control until the allotted time for my experiment ran out at 2 p.m..

Whew...I can't believe that made it! I was a bit irritable (duh!), tired and needed a shower. I just felt dirty watching all that! I was in there for like an hour, with the soap. "I'm Still not clean! I'm Still not clean!" Well anyways, I'm pretty sure my brain is fried just as much as the CEOs and presidents of MTV.

If I start watching this channel regularly, I have one request for all of you...

Put me out of my damn misery

Music Television? I think not.

MTV = Moron Television.