Saving You From Doomsday

We here at WYLFWT.com like to take bullets for our visitors.

Sometimes in a man's life, you have to do something for the ones that you love.

Sometimes you have to take a risk.

It could mean the end of your life, but the people that you love can live on.

It will be hard for them, but you would have wanted them to live a long and happy life.

On Monday March the 17th at approximately 4:00 PM (4:18 PM after opening commercials), FlareHolyMeteo and I sacrificed ourselves for the sake of you.

What we did is something no man should ever have to go through.

WE SAW DOOMSDAY AT OUR LOCAL THEATER! AHHH!

Doomsday is a film from the same person who gave us The Descent and it was his homage to classic post apocalyptic films such as Mad Max.

Well, they should have just let well enough alone. Here is my summary of the plot as interpreted by me.

Warning: This contains spoilers... so don't view it if you don't want to be spoiled, but trust me, I am doing you a favor.

Doomsday starts off when "The Reaper Virus" spreads among Scotland. So, their solution? To declar martial law and kill of a lot fucking people, then build a big wall around Scotland and arm the wall with huge ass guns that will even go as far as to kill poor innocent bunnies.

However, 25 years later in the year 2035, where technology and fashion hasn't really changed all that much, The Reaper Virus has struck... AGAIN. DUN DUN DUN!

Well, for the past 25 years, the evil British government has been spying on Scotland through satellites. In the last 3, they have discovered their might be survivors. So, they rely on the judgment of the Sheriff/General/Head Detective/Army Guy/Never Clearly Defined individual named Bill played by Bob Hoskins.

So Bill enlists the help of the one-eyed hottie named Eden Sinclar, who will be going past The Wall to find survivors and possibly a cure with a team of a whopping 7 or so people. Hey, when the country is about to die, you can't send hundreds over... you have to send "7 or so." NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE LOGICAL!

Oh yeah, and the country is still a "No Fly Zone"... and we aren't talking about pants here. We are talking about helicopters and such flying over the air in Scotland.

When they arrive, the first thing discover is a shit ton of cows. Why? Not sure.

Then, they discover the hospital that Kane the scientist had worked on finding a cure at. Once there, everything goes out of control as a several savages (or former Misfit band members, depending on your take on the manner) come to kill the people. Fuck finding out what these people might be there for. WE KILL! KILL! KIIILLLL!!!

Eden Sinclair gets kidnapped and put in a cell where she is then interrogated by this "man":

Sol, the leader of The Warriors... err... "The Maurderers."

Apparently, Sol is mad at Kane for lying to him about people living on the outside of the walls. Oh yeah, and he just might be a little fucking insane.

Apparently, since there is a lack of food, they have resorted to cannabilism. Apparently nobody told them about the cows just a little bit down the road. Then again, they might be too busy paying attention to the fact that they are able to style their hair every day, and even use hair coloring. AMAZING!

Eden obviously escapes, kills a few people, and the mysteriously finds this woman in the cell who can lead Eden to Kane. She meets up with the only 2 surviving members of the team and they go to meet up with Kane. Along the way, they logically run into this knight in shining armor on a horse who serves as the executioner for Kane. Eden lets them all get kidnapped where she must find out the secret to the survivors inside a midevial castle.

And its... THERE IS NO CURE. THEY ARE IMMUNE TO THE DISEASE! ... DOH!

So, then Eden kills half of the town and our heroes escape from the midevial knights in the only thing that you can escape in a post-apocalyptic wasteland lead by two tribes, one of them from the early Punk rock movement and the other apparently from King Arthur's round table...

An Bentley Continental GT!

After escaping, the three people left meet up with the Evil British Government, which has gotten even more evil since the Prime Minister commited suicide after getting "The Reaper Virus."

But wait, Evil New Head Man is going to screw over Britain for the sake of saving face for himself. He is going to take the "immune survivor" and make a cure... after everyone dies first, and he is going to leave Eden stuck in Scotland. Well... that little shithead.

But wait, Bob Hoskins decides to find Eden in Scotland and try to talk her into going home. Instead, she declines, but she secretely recorded that conversation she had with Evil New Head Man in Britain and he can use that as a way of exposing him. Bob Hoskins takes said recording and flies away in a Helicopter from Scotland in the "No Fly Zone" to expose that evil no do-gooder.

Eden decides to take the head of Sol, the leader of the Maurderers, and become the leader of said group.

Overall, this film is the biggest pile of shit I have seen in awhile, and you are talking to a guy who watches cheesy Slasher Films! Basically, Flare and I came up with the only saving grace we could for this movie:

This Movie Has a Few Hot Chicks

But lets us face it. There are hot chicks everywhere these days. You can't turn on a reality TV show without seeing fuckable women. So, that is no reason to spend $30 for yourself, your friend, and some snacks for a movie.

Their attempt at Mad Max MEETS Escape From New York MEETS The Warriors MEETS Casino Royale MEETS Excalibur falls flat... mostly because hardly any of those films go together in the first place!

It has a confusing plot with equally confusing editing. There is okay acting and okay special effects. There pretty much is almost zero characterization and the characters seem lilfeless and empty. Not to mention, Doomsday just plain old fucking sucks!

So, I am doing you a huge favor by spoiling half of the plot for you. It is just a shitty shitty movie. And not the "So bad, its good" kind of bad either, but rather it the "So bad... its bad" kind.