RJ45's Patent News Predictions 2007

Today is Eight Years of Would You Like Fries With That? That means, in one form or another whether mailing newsletter, blog, or website...the idea of Would You Like Fries With That? has existed for 8 years!

One thing that has been relatively consistent over the years has been one column... THE YEARLY NEWS PREDICTIONS. It is also highly valued by many of my long time readers and myself.

1. Would You Like Fries With That? #426 - News Predictions 2001
2. Would You Like Fries With That? #540 - News Predictions 2002
3. A Day in the Life #4 - News Predictions 2003
4. A Day in the Life #75 - News Predictions 2004
5. 2005 - Never Done. Too busy. Forgotten, etc.
6. WYLFWT.com - RECOVERED ARCHIVE - News Predictions 2006

2001 is pretty good. 2002 is a complete shit-fest. I obviously didn't get out much that year. You can skip that one. 2003 is better, albeit I was still a little sheltered from the world. 2004 was fun to write and still fun, at least for me, to read. 2006 is also very good, but I think 2007 will hopefully be the best. Funny thing is I spent days writing up the previous editions. This edition took me 40 minutes to write.

News Predictions 2007

February 12 - George W. Bush announces the sending of more troops to Iraq.  

February 15 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member Mortis! Mortis celebrates his birthday by flashing Vince McMahon.

February 17 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member 5iN. 5iN celebrates his birthday by beating up an EMO.

February 20 - Boston has another bomb scare when a new shipment of Lite-Brites arrive at Wal-Mart.

February 28 - Britney Spears and K-Fed announce that they are now remarried.

March 2 - George W. Bush announces that the rest of the troops left in America will be sent to Iraq.

March 4 - Britney Spears and K-Fed announce their divorce

March 11 - Carlos Santana's next album has been cancelled due to the fact that nobody wants to sing on it.

March 17 - Happy Birthday Nikon! Nikon celebrates his birthday by Remembering the Alamo.

March 28 - The Food & Drug Administration announce that wearing velvet can cause cancer.

March 30 - In a huge surprise, George Lucas announces Star Wars Episode Seven! Will Ferrell is set to star as Luke Skywalker.

April 1 - Wrestlemania 23 is a disaster when it turns out to be a four hour Vince McMahon interview.

April 4 - George W. Bush announces a draft of 500,000 American males to send over to Iraq.

April 10 - Continuing the News Predictions Tradition....Happy Birthday Mandy Moore! She turns 17!

April 16 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member Pick! Pick celebrates his birthday by beating up a robot with a bat.

April 23 - Britney Spears and Vanilla Ice announce their marriage.

April 28 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member JP! JP celebrates his birthday by beating up random people named Dwayne.

May 1 - Steven Segal releases his celebrity rap album titled "1 Voice, 1 Facial Expression."

May 2 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member Omie! Omie has a wild birthday party that was definitely "the shizzy."

May 4 - After sending every young American male to Iraq, George W. Bush announces that the draft will extend to men of all ages.... except himself.

May 17 - Britney Spears and Vanilla Ice announce their divorce.

May 20 - Boston has a bomb scare when a new shipment of talking Homer Simpson dolls arrive at Wal-Mart.

May 30 - Rockstar Games releases the game, Horror Monster. In this game you create your own horror movie monster. You level up when you kill human beings. The more scum the human is, the more experience points you get. As you level up, you gain more super powers. There is much gore, blood, and guts...plus deaths of all types ranging from good ole fashion decapitation to death by lawnmower.

June 4 - Despite every last American male excluding himself being sent to Iraq, George W. Bush announces that he will now send young women to Iraq.

June 8 - Britney Spears and Paris Hilton announce that they are united in civil union.

June 13 - Parental groups start a protest against Rockstar's Horror Monster when it is discovered that there are three seconds of brief nudity.

June 16 - The Food & Drug Administration announce that Frisbees can cause cancer.

June 29 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com! The website celebrates its birthday with RJ45 taking something that would normally seem insignificant, and spinning it into something that seems really important!

July 4 - Even though all men excluding himself, all young women now being station in Iraq, George W. Bush announces that will send all women to Iraq, including his own daughter.

July 7 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member SpaceCowboy! SpaceCowboy celebrates his birthday by beating up a gorilla.

July 12 - Britney Spears and Paris Hilton announce their civil union has been disbanded.

July 22 - Lionsgate Films announce the remake of Peter Jackson's Dead Alive. Will Ferrell is set to star. 

July 31 - Stephen Colbert announces that he will throw his hat into the ring for the 2008 Presidential Election! Polls already favor Mr. Colbert.

August 4 - Even though all men excluding himself, all women including his own wife and daughter are all stationed in Iraq, George W. Bush announces that he will now send "Them Damn Illegal Mexicans" over to be stationed in Iraq.

August 12 - Boston send out a SWAT Team to a little boy's bedroom when they discover that he has an X-Box and it "looks scary."

August 17 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member SpicyMan! SpicyMan celebrates his birthday by chopping off his hand. 

August 21 - Britney Spears and WYLFWT.com Team Member Mortis announce their engagement.

August 25 - Civil court case The People vs. Justin Timberlake over the matter of who actually brought sexy back was settled out of court with undisclosed terms.

August 30 - The Food & Drug Administration announce that lawnmowers can cause cancer.

September 2 - Even though all men excluding himself, all women including his wife and daughter, and every the entire nation of Mexico being stationed in Iraq, George W. Bush announces that he will send all Canadians over to be stationed in Iraq.

September 14 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member BrotherBenton! Benton celebrates his birthday by sticking his fist up a dogs ass and raping the elderly!

September 16 - Boston raises its alert level to Defcon 4 when they discover a Hoola-Hoop in a girl's bedroom which is suspected to be a bomb.

September 19 - Britney Spears and WYLFWT.com Team Member Mortis announce their divorce.

September 26 - KoRn finally disbands when Munky & David find God. Fieldy finds Buddhism, and JD finds the remote.

October 4 - Even though all men excluding himself, all women including his wife and daughter, and every the entire nations of Canada and Mexico all someone being stationed in Iraq - George W. Bush announces that he will now go to Iraq.

October 8 - With the success of cartoon and comic book movie remakes, Captain Planet & The Planeteers will now be made into a live action movie. Will Ferrell is set to star as Captain Planet.

October 12 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member FlareHolyMeteo! FlareHolyMeteo celebrates his birthday by signing petitions.

October 16 - Britney Spears and a dingo named Pepe announce their marriage.

October 24 - Happy Birthday RJ45! RJ45 celebrates his birthday by getting drunk at a Karoake bar and singing "Don't Stop Believin'"... much to the dismay of his friends.

October 30 - Holy cow! Chicago Cubs do actually win the World Series. Everyone bows down and announces their full allegiance to the new ivy.

November 3 - Continuing the News Predictions Tradition....Happy Birthday Dennis Miller! Dennis Miller celebrates his birthday by telling a joke that no one gets.

November 4 - George W. Bush gets assassinated when making his next troops in Iraq announcement.

November 15 - Britney Spears and a dingo named Pepe announce their divorce when the dingo ate her baby.

November 19 - The Food & Drug Administration announce that watching movies where the words "Fo Shizzle" are uttered can cause cancer.

December 4 - Even though all men and women of the United States, Canada, and Mexico all being stationed in Iraq, and the fact that he is dead, George W Bush announces the sending of more troops to Iraq.

December 13 - Happy Birthday WYLFWT.com Team Member Brynna! Brynna celebrates her birthday by grossing out BrotherBenton again.

December 23 - Boston gets scared again when they find a girl's My Little Pony collection. The Entire City of Boston spontaneously combusts.

Another year, another set of predictions! Exciting times, folks! Exciting times. As per usual, your feedback is greatly appreciated. Hey, till next year!

RJ45