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I Hate "A Christmas Story"
Submitted by RJ45 on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 9:23am.
The director of the film, Bob Clark, is also hailed as a genius by many because he directed A Christmas Story, the first slasher ever Black Christmas, and Porkys. Okay, I'll give him credit for helping create an entire film genre with Black Christmas. I've never seen Porkys and so I won't judge it one way or another.
In what is usually an unneccessarily hostile response, I tend to hear "Okay, what is YOUR idea of the ultimate Christmas movie?"
I realize that the following rant may not make me a popular guy. I am okay with that. This is a rant that, for me, is 25 years in the making.
I will give you one hint what this is all about...
If you live in America and have a TV, you have probably seen or at least heard of A Christmas Story. You know about the leg lamp, the Ovaltine message, the tongue stuck to the pole, and "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!" Every year, networks will have this thing on repeat for 24 hours on Christmas/Christmas Eve.
The movie is about little Ralphie and his misadventures towards Christmas in his persuit of a Red Ryder BB Gun. Along the way, he encounters an Evil Santa Clause, getting his mouth washed with soap, and being stuck wearing embarrassing pajamas.
People who love the film tend to love it for nostalgia and how they can relate to the characters in the movie. They love the messages that the movie sends such as not getting conned by advertising or stand up to bullies.
People who don't like the film tends to give the reasons of the film lacks redeeming characters and doesn't capture the spirit of Christmas.
I don't like the film because it is a boring piece of shit.
There are only two scenes worth watching in this film:
- Ralphie beating the shit out of Farkus.
- Flick getting his tongue stuck to the frozen pole.
Since Back to the Future has the ultimate "knocking the bully out" scene ever, that nulls the first scene. The rest of the movie is a bunch of meaningless random tripe that really doesn't go much of anywhere. So the kid gets the Red Ryder BB Gun, in the end. Here's the twist, he really does shoot his eye out! Wow, I totally didn't see that twist coming AT ALL! Such genius!
"But RJ, everybody can recognize something from one of their own personal Christmases in this movie!"
Yes, I do spot a few personal events that relate some of the events in this movie. That doesn't make it a great or even a good movie!
The director of the film, Bob Clark, is also hailed as a genius by many because he directed A Christmas Story, the first slasher ever Black Christmas, and Porkys. Okay, I'll give him credit for helping create an entire film genre with Black Christmas. I've never seen Porkys and so I won't judge it one way or another.
As far as him being a total genius, I completely beg to differ. Here is some of his other AWESOME work:
In what is usually an unneccessarily hostile response, I tend to hear "Okay, what is YOUR idea of the ultimate Christmas movie?"
Tell you what, I'll name a Christmas movie and/or special from several of the past decades that is better that this piece of garbage! (I didn't include the 2000s since the decade isn't over yet).
40s: Its a Wonderful Life
50s: A Christmas Carol
60s: How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
70s: Almost every Rankin/Bass stop motion TV specials released that decade
80s: Scrooged
90s: The Santa Clause
Another hostile response I get is "If you don't like it, don't watch it!"
I would take that suggestion in a heart beat! However, it is kind of hard whenever I go to other people's homes on Christmas and Christmas Eve and almost, without fail, this movie is on at least one of those homes.
Now, I know I might get some negative comments, and that's fine. If this is your ultimate Christmas movie, then that's fine. I am not attacking you at all. I'm attacking the movie.
I realize my blog means nothing and that I just wasted my time indirectly advertising the movie. However, I know that I can't be the only person out there that hates this movie. So, I am curious to see if there is someone out there that agrees with me.
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I agree
I dislike this movie but several others as well, namely anything that is a christmas special of any television show in the last 8 years. If it isn't a chirstmas special from one of the great WB cartoons from the 90's I want nothing to do with it. If it isn't the Garfield christmas special I want nothing to do with it. If it isn't the Blackadder christmas special I want nothing to do with it. That is about all I will watch in terms of christmas television unless on of my regular shows has a christmas episode and doesn't have some sort of knock off christmas carol or it's a wonderful life plot I'm happy.
I totally agree
This movie sucks! Why is it a "classic"? Why is it shoved down my throat for 24 hours straight? I don't even want to watch movies I LIKE for 24 hours straight! Who came up with this idea? I just want to break things anytime I see even advertisments for that movie. I can't even say the name, I break out in hives!! I think we need to start a "I'd Rather Stick a Fork In My Eye" than watch that movie campaign...
OMFG!!!!!!!!! Finally
OMFG!!!!!!!!!
Finally someone who agrees with me. I HATE HATE HATE that movie.
It's so boring and annoying, I cannot understand why people like it.
Can you imagine my horror when yesterday I heard an announcement on
tv they were playing 24 hours of that horrible movie! As if once
isn't bad enough.
The Santa Claus Movie is awesome! my favourite of all time with john
lithgow, with the magic candy canes.
Cheers!
Hatehatehate.
Forced to watch that stupid movie every damn Christmas since I was but an impressionable young'un. Poor acting and pathetic plot, even when movies like Power Rangers were epic with their 'fantastic' special effects, this movie made me want to slam my head against the wall in order to drive out some of the stupid left as a result.
WHY, may I ask you, WHY do networks feel the need to spam us with this horrid piece for TWENTY FOUR hours? Gimme some bugs bunny, man. ;_;
Thank GOD!! I absolutely
Thank GOD!! I absolutely abhor that movie and everyone thinks I'm nuts because of this.
Great article, I fucking
Great article, I fucking hate this movie too!!
idiots
a christmas story is the best. i feel sorry for you bland idiots.
I hate it, too
Yea! I think this is one of the worst movies ever made. None of these scenes or characters remind me of the Christmases of my past. My parents aren't idiots, though. All the attempts at humor are so strained and clumsy. I have a great idea though. Let's combine It's a Wonderful Life with A Christmas Story. I would LOVE to see what life would be like if Ralphie had never been born.
Another POV on this film, from someone "of the day"
I really don't *hate* this movie...I just don't get it. And, generationally, I should be pretty close to the mark that Shepherd was aiming for...the movie takes place in the late ‘40s and I was born in 1953...so, even though it would have been 1962 before I was Ralphie's age, I still grew up through most of the Fifties.
The problem for me is that I also grew up in Southern California (putting me in the perfect place and era to be immersed in the surfing and hot rod scenes). A Christmas Story reflects, to me, an "East Coast" world. Yes, I know it's set in Indiana...but for a SoCal kid, anything east of the Rockies represented a foreign country. While we had access to mountains and snow, it was not part of the winters we had. Ralphie and the kids his age just don't remind me that much of anyone I knew when I was in school. Neither do the parents. Absolutely, neither do the parents. Everyone always says how "real" these characters are. Not by me. They're as overblown and caricatured as those in any early sitcom.
Hulman, Indiana portrays -- in my eyes, at least -- a working class, "lunch bucket" kind of town. And that's fine. But that's nothing at all like what I experienced in my town, at my school, or with my parents and their friends.
In later years, I married into a family from Flint, Michigan and, in getting to know them, their history and their (sadly collapsing) community, I can see how my wife and her siblings all love this movie (she's watching it right now)...but, for me, I can't even get into the nostalgia angle because it's nothing I ever lived.
Morons
I don't even watch Christmas movies. I HATE Christmas movies. I hate the commercialization involved in it. But to bitch and moan about A Christmas Story being broadcast 24 hours is ridiculous. If you have a full 24 hours to sit in front of the TV then you can complain. Otherwise, shut your trap. That movie has become an institution in American film for the holiday. Also, its run for 24/7 so they can keep the minimal staff working on Christmas Day. So they can go home to their Family. So they can sit on their lazy asses watching the same movie.
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