Stupid Fetishes & Paraphilias, Part 4

Hello everyone, its RJ45 again with everyone's favorite discussion...SEX! It has been several months since I last had something up in "RJ45 Sex Talk." So, I thought I would kick it back off with the latest in a series called "Stupid Fetishes & Paraphilias."

Why in the hell would I subject to myself to such agony and torture? I took a sex survey provided by PervScan.com (the greatest weird news website EVER) and it asked me if I had ever asked my lover to incorporate a catheter into foreplay.

That just made me beside myself. Till this very day, I still ask myself, "a catheter?" It bothers me. It disturbs me. Why in the blue hell would someone want this during sex?

So, I proudly present to you...

Stupid Fetishes and Paraphilias, Part Four:
Live Free or Fuck Hard

Pie throwing is the sexual arousal of observing or getting hit in the face with a pie. Or, as my research on this subject showed, "Getting pied." Ummm... okay?

First of all, I blame American Pie for even presenting this idea to the public. However, at least its harmless (aside from diabetes) and very old school when it comes to the funny. Imagine a one night stand. You go back to her place and asks you to pie her. Oh well, I guess it could be a lot freakier... A LOT FREAKIER. Imagine though be a closet pie throwing fetishist. IMAGINE THANKSGIVING! Heck, imagine you being the lover of a closet pie thrower and this little scenario:

Guy: Yeah.... yeah....
Girl: Oh yes! Oh yes! Please! Please! Throw a pie on my face!
Guy: Yeah... wha.... wha... wait a minute...

Although, really, men, we have to admit. We love mud wrestling matches. We love showers. How would this be too much different? That is of course unless she wants to throw a pie in your face... I guess you have to reciprocate once in awhile.

If this turns you on... whatever!

Zelophilia is the sexual arousal from jealousy. How exactly does that work? Is it a lover thing? You see someone fucking your lover, and then you want to fuck them instead of killing them? Or is it more trivial? Your neighbor has that iPhone you always wanted, you get turned on, and start fucking your lover? Or is it perhaps getting aroused by other people's jealousy? You have huge tits. Someone is jealous. You get turned on?

Now one might say "Well, RJ, that is swinging. Haven't you heard of swinging?"

Well, that's just it. That ISN'T swinging. I actually know swingers who practiced and I have heard their whole outlook. It is interesting, to say the least. Swinging is the practice of sharing partners in an "open relationship." Jealousy is getting upset because someone has something that you can't have. You can't get jealous if everyone is sharing. Well, you can, but its pretty silly. But in the end, jealously, which while can still happen, has nothing to do with swinging.

So seriously, how does this work?

Dendrophilia is the sexual attraction to trees. Trees... TREES! What happens when you love the environment... too much?