Dating on Demand

From: CNN

Starting on Feb. 14, the cable operator will offer Dating-on-Demand, a video-on-demand service to help subscribers find their match, according to USA Today. Singles age 18 and older can submit personal three-to-five minute videos to Comcast (Research) and the cable operator will post the video on its server, the paper said. Videos will first be edited to meet the TV-14 standard, and no inappropriate or intensely suggestive language will be permitted, according to the paper. Other Comcast digital-cable subscribers can view the videos and reach someone if they wish by sending a message through an online subscription service, HurryDate.com.

Dating on Demand 101: Demanding a Date

One of the key elements of Dating on Demand is the proper execution of the demand.  The most direct approach involves yelling, slamming your fist down upon whatever is handy, stomping your feet, and most other manners of jackassery.  Some try to demand their dates in more amourous ways, like pulling guns, knives, or lit sticks of dynamite, in hopes to procure a more lasting romantic effect.  The following is a traditional dialogue often used to demand a date:

Man: I demand to date you.
Woman: I demand that you date me.
Man: Good.  I demand that you get in my car, whereupon I will take you to whatever restaurant you demand and demand from you that you order whatever drink, appetizer, entree, and desert that you demand.
Woman: I demand that we do it this Friday at 8:00.
Man: My raquetball partner has already demanded that I play raquetball with him at that time.  I demand a compromise.
Woman: Very well, I demand that you pick a more convenient time.
Man: I demand to set the aforementioned ritual of meeting to the date and time of this saturday at 7:00.
Woman: That is acceptable.

Men need to realize one thing. The demands of them could easily escalate:

- Demand of them wanting diamonds and all of your money.
- Demand for keeping the blankity-blankin' apartment cleaner than a pig stye.
- Demand of helping around the house with laundry and dishes.
- Demand of mowing the lawn.
- Demand of taking out the trash.
- Demand of changing the kitty litter.

Of course, these escalated demands are just not limited to the demands of the males. The following could be demanded of the females:

- Demand of sexual intercourse.

- Demand of sexual intercourse.

- Demand of a 16 fluid ounce alumnium container of beer.

- Demand of a 16 fluid ounce alumnium container of beer.

- Demand of sexual intercourse.

- Demand of sexual intercourse.

As you can see, Dating on Demand is a complicated, emotional affair, but it can yield positive lasting results.