MySpace People #10: ____ Sucks

Hey everybody. We're back again with another edition of The Weird. The Perverted. The Stupid. The MySpace People! It has been awhile!

For those of you whom still live in the internet cave, MySpace is a community site that you can sign up. You get seemingly unlimited space for pictures, and you work on setting up your own MySpace page. You have a wall that people write comments on. You add friends. The more friends you have, the cooler you are! You also get your own blog that pretty much nobody reads unless you actively promote your posts. The other thing MySpace specializes in is finding underground bands. Some WYLFWT.com featured bands such as This Burning Earth, Hero Estates, Hearts Fail, and The Amazing Kill-o-Watts can all can be found on MySpace. In fact, WYLFWT.com has an account at http://www.myspace.com/wylfwtdotcom.

The other thing they are also known for is MySpace pervs, cyberstalkers, and weirdoes...which no doubt provides everyone with an endless resource of material...which is what MySpace People is all about! The Place for Freaks! Apparently, they also have people lacking some serious good ideas, as you will learn.

It is amazing how many things you can find on the internet by typing in the phrase "(insert a noun) sucks." MySpace is no different. If anything, its worse! You can give any mental midget a forum to start their own "___ sucks" groups! That, along with some other things, is what will be covered in this edition of MySpace People!

At the end, I am going to announce my concept for the next edition. Would like your help!

For good luck, though, in MySpace People tradition, I always like to kick off with a MySpace weirdo...

CLASSIFIED AD: Click Here to See I'm Not Lying

Posted By:	lynx
Date:	Nov 14, 2006 6:35 PM
Subject:	Road Trip in January! People needed!
Details:	Location: Chicago
Body:	Myself and a couple friends are planning a roadtrip around christmas break and are looking for interested party minded people to join us. We'll be starting from Madison and cruise through Chicago to pick up a friend. If you're up for getting away for a few days and partying send me a message.

RJ45: Okay, I've read this thing like three times now and I always ask myself the same question...

WHO THE HELL GOES ON ROAD TRIPS WITH PEOPLE THEY DON'T KNOW?!

Aside from the obvious "they could be a psychotic killer" thing that's been done to death...I have some other concerns about going on road trips with random strangers. Like, what if the person is whiny? What if the person doesn't bathe? What if the person wheezes all the time? What if something on their body is deformed and you can't not focus on it?! What if the person farts a lot? What if the person has an annoying laugh? These are the things that concern me the most with the prospects of going on intimate road trips with random people!

GROUP #1 - Death metal sucks

» View Group Photos   Category: Music Type: Public Membership Founded: Sep 9, 2006 Location:: anti-death metal, Washington - US Members: 20 Group Leader: Adam

RJ45: All of that and a logo made in Window's Paint in 7 seconds! Ladies & Gentlemen...Welcome to the first group...Death Metal sucks!

I like all how he first takes quite possibly the most extreme example in the entire genre in the form of Cannibal Corpse. Don't you hate it when people do that? Its like, "Hey! Thanks for focusing on the worst element, and completely ignoring the rest when forming your half-cocked half-thought out fucktarded argument!"

I was going to check the owner's music and make fun of it to close this off...but then I ran into his list of favorite bands. This has been shortened, but you will get the idea...

Adam's Favorite Bands: All That Remains, Killswitch Engage, Himsa, Unearth, Lamb of God, Slipknot, Pantera R.I.P Dime, God Forbid, As I Lay Dying, Bleeding Through, Children of Bodom, Mastodon, Trivium, Atreyu, Dry Kill Logic, Damageplan, 3 iNCHES OF bLOOD, Hatebreed, Blood Has Been Shed, Spineshank, Mushroom Head, ILL NINO, Breaking Benjamen, Cross Fade, Caliban, Manntis, Evergrey, chimaira, from autumn to ashes, Iced Earth, In Flames, machine head, Martyr AD, Shadows Fall, Slayer, The Black Dahlia Murder, Otep, Diecast, Unloco, Brides Of Destruction, Stampin' ground,  Dead to Fall, Mnemic, A Dozen Furies, Between the Buried and Me, Freya,  Walls Of Jericho, Full Blown Chaos, A Perfect Murder, the agony scene, Black Label Society, Anthrax, Iron Maiden

RJ45: While I am am too lazy to look up each individual band to see what genre they fall under...I am pretty sure one of those bands is a Death Metal band. While the genres bleed over so much the more specific they get, it is kind of asinine to target one sub-genre of music when you like the actual genre as a whole. Perhaps a "Pop Sucks" or "EMO Sucks" would have been up this person's alley?

STRANGE CHAIN BULLETIN

The bulletin board is basically notices you can post to your other friends. In those bulletins, we get some strange change bulletins. They get kind of ridiculous. I think BrotherBenton expressed it all in this one that I am pretty sure he wrote as a joke seeing as that has BrotherBenton humor written all over it, but you never know! Nothing really needs to be added as this says it all!

From:	BrotherBenton
Date:	Nov 25, 2006 1:31 PM
Subject	7 Years
Body:	What is the deal with these "repost" bulletins? Okay, heres a new one: At exactly 7:07 PM tonite, clap your buttcheeks together 7 times and it will bring you 7 years of luck! REPOST THIS IMMEDIATELY!

GROUP #2 - JOURNEY SUCKS

» View Group Photos Category: Music Type: Public Membership Founded: Feb 23, 2006 Location:: Havertown, Pennsylvania - US Members: 13 Group Leader: Lee

RJ45:  Since when was Journey a hair band?

Either way, this must be one of my friends.  I have a way of breaking people down psychologically to the point they snap and write an odd rant about it on the internet.

I guess it is just my charming ways. :-)

GROUP #3 - Sum 41 is better than Metallica

» View Group Photos Category: Music Type: Public Membership Founded: Feb 5, 2006 Location:: G-Ville, Nevada - US Members: 22 Group Leader: N!©l{

RJ45: End of discussion? There was a discussion?

Well, N!©l{, allow me to introduce to you to an interesting concept. You might have heard of it before?

Apples & Oranges... The metaphor that's been around for decades...

MySpace People Tradition...

We open up with a weirdo...we close with a weirdo!

Classified Ad: http://collect.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=classifieds.viewAd&classifiedID=2775178&catID=8&subCatID=109

Posted By:	Rich
Date:	Nov 26, 2006 11:13 PM
Subject:	I'm off Monday and Tuesday ;)
Details:	Location: Beverly Hills
Body:	You see, I don’t really do shit for starving children in Africa, I don’t feed the homeless (other than a plate of left over turkey on Thanksgiving), I don’t give blood because I’m a pussy around needles, I’m not a Big Brother for impoverished inter-city youths and I’m sure as hell not a doctor, fireman, police officer or a teacher. Sure, I have a modicum of core values and I generally live by the Golden Rule but I just don’t know what to do – how can I really make an impact? March on Washington? Why? Bush is in Texas, isn’t he? Anyway… I figure all I can really do is fuck a Bush supporter. You know, take a 5’7” grass roots approach. Yep, you heard it right ladies. If you’re cute and you voted for Bush and if you still stand by your man, have a fiery streak, and a generally pleasant demeanor towards not skinny, not fat Midwestern type men - then please, by all means contact me so that we can fuck like bunnies. You know, you take a shower and brush, I take a shower and brush and then...we fuck like bunnies. The way I see it, the less of you female Bush supporters running around with indignant, hard-righteous slants the better. And who the hell can be indignant after you’ve had a thick cock? Sure, I’m a Democrat, so what? It’s not like I’ll go soft on this stance! Muaahaa! And I’ll bring the condoms! This is a limited offer, so act now! Sure, I’m a guy so I’ll obviously consider a female Democrat who needs some cock too, but right now, I really deserve a booty call because it’s just going to keep one less Bush on the street (rim shot) whoa, I’ll be here allll night!

RJ45: I think this falls under the category of "Things I wish I could make up?"

While I am not sure if "Rich" is serious or not, I am going to pretend that he is, just for arguments sake...

You know...if you have a diabolical plan, don't go all James Bond Villain on us and reveal your entire plan in the beginning. What a dipshit. All I have to ask now is, "Hey, Republicans, any takers?" :-)

Well, that is it for today! I am sure you want to hear my concept...

I am thinking for MySpace People #11, I create a fake profile of a hot slutty chick, and see what crazy messages I get from people! Anyone like this idea? Anyone willing to help out a good cause in getting this done?

... heheheh... heh... Ha...Haha...MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!