The Original True Psycho Phreak Products #1

The Original True Psycho Phreak Products

True Psycho Phreak Products, for years, has been WYLFWT's platform for having satirical advertisements for fake products and services.

#98 May 20, 1999: The BOX

TPPP (True Psycho Phreak Products), your creative marketing geniuses have put yet another product to the public. It’s a BOX! Not just any box, you can put stuff in this box. ALL KINDS OF STUFF! Books, magazines, clothes, toilet paper, action figures, fingernails, and even Pringle’s Chips. I mean, you can find just about 550 uses for the BOX! So get your BOX today, 7 dollars for each BOX!

#305 December 12, 1999: Toe Hats

TPPP (True Psycho Phreak Products) proudly brings to you it’s latest product from the wonderful world of TPPP...TOE HATS! Yes that’s right...make a fashion statement...cause these puppies are hats for your toes...just what the world needs. Get a right size of the hat...and put it over your toe and wear it. Show it off to your friends...cause Toe Hats are cool. The Final Solution even wears them...so be cool like him. There are all kinds of TPPP Toe Hats...Santa hats, White Sox hats, and even a cowboy hat! THAT IS COOL! $53.66 for a hat...get them at your local Pro One (TM) today!

#44 March 26, 1999: The Time Channel

From the creators of The Weather Channel, and TPPP (True Psycho Phreak Products) comes the all new...TIME CHANNEL. You turn to this lovely channel, and it will tell you the time. Imagine 24 hours of “It’s 4:33 Central Standard Time right now, but it should be 5:00 CST really soon!” Wow, doesn’t that sound exciting?

#405 July 21, 2000: Diet Coke

True Psycho Phreak Products (TPPP) has a lovely product that is soon to be released in the year 2001...

Have you ever wanted to feel the great effects of Cocaine, but yet...you are afraid of getting that pasty white skin, droopy eyes, or having sex with a man with three nostrils just to purchase 1/1000 of a teaspoon for it? Well look no further because we have the product that is just for you, is cheap, and it will give you that same addictive near-death experience that you are looking for.

DIET COKE!

Yes, that’s right. It works great before dates, after job interviews, or even while that kid is screaming at you to fix him dinner. And what’s better, you thought 400 dollars and a blowjob for a dime bag was a steal for regular cocaine? I’m sure you would pay a heck of a lot more! Well, for 4 easy payments of 200 dollars and a blowjob you get a nickel bag! That’s right, just 4 easy payments of 200 dollars and a blowjob.

AND THAT’S NOT ALL!

If you order within the next 5 minutes, you get 4 free days in the Betty Ford Clinic absolutely FREE! And if you are not satisfied with your bag of DIET COKE! Then you get your money back, NOT GUARANTEED!

Coming soon! Stay tuned into TPPP!

#466 June 13, 2001- WITNESS MOTEL

TPPP (True Psycho Phreak Products) has a product that will appeal to the masses, that’s for sure. Are you tired of Jehovah's witnesses? Do you wish you could just go one day without them knocking on your door? “WITNESS MOTEL”, not be confused with a “ROACH MOTEL”. This Witness Motel is full of bullshit, which is just what the doctor ordered for Jehovah's witnesses. Within a few days, you will no longer get pointless knocks on your door. So allow yourself that breath of fresh air, and get “Witness Motel” today!