In response to: Freaky Reviews from Energy Drink Fiends

See, when it comes to a pick-me-up, I'm one of those guys that goes for an energy drink. But not one of those extreme marketing, 8-to-16 ounce five-bucks-a-pop drinks that taste like cough and corn syrup. Nope, I'm talking about coffee; Mother Nature's energy drink.

Now before we get started, I want to clarify something. I'm not talking about any of this half-café grande super bad raspberry mocha John boat machine gun no foam throwing star half crème in a 2 ounce cup shit. Nope, I'm talking roasted beans in hot water. Coffee. You know, next-to-free, hot, in a mug? Yep, that's the coffee I'm talking about.

And while there are some that live off of their RED BULL MONSTER JAVA PUNCH TO THE NUTZ in AN 8 oz CAN!!!, I ain't one of them. And why, do you ask? Because they're not strong enough. Yep, not strong enough.

You will not meet a bigger fan of classic rock than myself - I think many of my reviews, lists, and guides make that point clear. But while I love the music, the ones distributing it are making horrible decisions/lies/atrocities/etc. It's time that I make it known to the world that record companies are degenerate. Read on, and you shall see why. The points I make in this list are in no particular order.

I've never really been into the energy drink thing too much. Why? For one, the majority of them taste worse than Robitussin. Second, for as shitty as they taste, they are horrible expensive. Third, many of them can have pretty bad side effects. I mean, your body isn't meant to get Energy out of a can. I'm a caffeine addict myself, and some of these drinks kind of scare me cause I've heard reports of people going to the hospital and such. Sheesh!

Now, I am not saying I am dietition, a personal trainer, or a doctor by any stretch. Let us face it, it doesn't take a doctor to realize that there is no such thing as a subsitute for sleep.

Having an occasional energy drink on exam days or more recently, in my case, doing wedding planning till late at night, is at least understandable. Maybe not condonable, but one can understand how you got there.

For instance, the other day after a long night of sorting through so much crap, I got like 5 hours of sleep, which my norm is 8. I decided to pick up the Chaser 5 Hour Energy Shot. I figured "Hey, its only 2 ounces, so if it tastes like crap, I don't have to endure an entire can."

Don't you just love pharmaceutical ads?

I had to laugh at one the other day. I mean really laugh, out loud, until everyone was looking at me like I was an idiot.

Why yes, that does happen to me all the time. How did you...?

Never mind.

Anyway, this one was a TV spot for some kind of an anti-depression pill.

The ad started by listing all the positive benefits of taking the drug. "Take control of your depression and get your life back."

Then, it dropped the volume and went into something like 15 minutes of some guy speed reading all the possible side effects associated with taking the drug.

"Possible sexual side effects could occur. However, the most common side effects are high blood pressure, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, blood poisoning, insanity, exploding eardrums, disembowelment, mummification, snot crystallization, increased body odor, psychotic episodes, and an overwhelming urge to seek a public office. In rare instances, these effects were severe and even fatal, especially for those who actually did seek public office."

Then, the volume comes back up and they repeat the benefits.

One of my favorite things on the internet is LOLCats. Like it or not, they are hear to stay.

These are some of my particular favorite LOLCats...

We are back with Classic Fries! Every Saturday, we will pull something from The Museum and reprint it for those to enjoy! This gives those a chance who never got a chance to read it the first time a second chance, since the Museum itself is so large and its hard for anyone to decide where to begin.

Something that was never posted (and probably for good reason) were some song parodies. These were attempts at parodying some songs. Today, I have collected them and posted them in this digest. Some of these songs are many years old, but you might enjoy them anyway (or not).

- "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed
- "So Far Away" by Staind
- The Goldfish Jingle

here's our
jingle for the penis
those sucked and not teased, penis
the wholesome snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off
did you know they're made with real meat
even tho they look like willies
the snack that smiles back
penis

The Beatles are probably the single most influential band in rock history, establishing a lot of what we expect out of rock stars and the whole sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll lifestyle. You can probably trace your favorite rock band's influences back to The Beatles.

So, much like some of the rap song graphs you will see out there, I wanted a shot at graphing several artists' key songs such as the Beatles.

If you don't have Excel, Access, or whatever, I found a great online Graph Generator: http://nces.ed.gov/nceskids/CreateAGraph/

Stay tuned, cause next edition will be Judas Priest!

Now, here are the graphs... if you can't figure out which song they represent feel free to mention that in feedback.

Over the years, WYLFWT.com has evolved and changed. There are many things that we have tried that have worked, and many that unfortunately haven't worked. The important thing is that we tried, which was better than never trying. It is through that determination that has gotten us to where we are today. This is a website that, never in my wildest dreams, would have gotten as far as it did. I am proud of this website, and most of all, I want to thank my Team Members, my website members, and the casual readers for being apart of this.

WYLFWT.com is in the process of condensing its sections. Instead of having all of these tiny sections that get updated, we are going to provide you with the one thing that has been working for us all of this time... ENTERTAINMENT. We want to rock your face and play in the key of rock for years to come. We want you to laugh. We want to kick your ass. We want you to have fun!

We have what I consider to be a good webcomics section. While I know this section is awesome, I would like to see some more people both posting and visiting the sections. So, I decided to take the best of these webcomics and put them in digests for people to see. We just got finished doing digests for graphic art and poetry, so now it is the webcomics turn!

This is a little unknown comic by David Faulk called "Knowing That You Know Nothing." It is discontinued now and Crayon Box is its successor, but it was a great comic and here are some of my favorite editions...

Would You Like Fries With That? - For over 9 years, the revolutionary force in online entertainment!

(Warning: That is what your mom said last night.)

"Rides the Metal Monster! Breathing smoke and fire! Closing in with vengeance soaring high! He is the Painkiller! This is the Painkiller!" - "Painkiller" by Judas Priest

::"Revolution Begins" by Arch Enemy plays as the crowd hit their feet, and RJ45 comes out with sheer intensity screaming and shouting like a freak... then he finally hits the stage!::

Finally... Would You Like Fries With That? HAS COME BACK TO THE INTERNET!

RJ45 here is proud and tall. Ready to entertain. Why do I want to entertain... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY I WANT TO ENTERTAIN!

Why? Because we just have one question left...

WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?

THE FINAL VEGETARIAN SOLUTION: Here is my solution for preachy vegetarians. I say, lets stop eating animals, and START EATING THE VEGETARIANS. That way, we still get our meat, and vegetarians won't have to worry about us eating the animals. EVERYBODY WINS!