Welcome to the third edition of Would You Like Fries With That? Blog. I am just on a roll. I am going with it. Today I talk about a Jehovah’s Witness, disappointing idioms, and poorly branded nutritional bars.


Jehovah’s Witnesses Are Probably Not Onto Something

The other day, I get a knock on my door and it was an older lady who tells me she is a Jehovah’s Witness. This immediately confuses me because most Jehovah’s Witnesses that knock on my door look like this guy. You always slam the door immediately on this guy:

Michael Cera looks like a Jehovah's Witness

In her hand was a tablet with a video playing on it. Uh oh, now they have shiny props to distract you from slamming the door. I was intrigued as the video had a Clergyman of some kind giving a speech. However, the speech was in sign language.

Apparently, they are selling a video of the sign language bible. She explains it is all the bible verses told in sign language. I come to my senses and I tell her I knew absolutely zero deaf people. That may not be entirely true. However, there’s zero people I hate enough to send a Jehovah’s Witness to their house. She got my “GTFO” hint and thanked me for her time.

About 15 minutes after she left I was like “Wait a second…MOST DEAF PEOPLE CAN READ THE BIBLE.”

I recognize that there was probably more to this video series than that but I’m going strictly off the sales pitch here.


True Sadness

“It is raining cats and dogs” is one of the most disappointing idioms ever.

As I had this thought, I looked for good artwork of raining cats and dogs. Unfortunately, most of the cartoons looked like this:

Raining Cats and Dogs

I wouldn’t have a stinking umbrella. My reaction to it literally raining cats and dogs would be more something like this…

Shawshank Redemption arms extended in rain


Really Dandy

Went to Google the spelling of dandelion and accidentally put in “dandy lion.” Let us just say I was not disappointed…

Dandy Lion


Heavy Metal Etiquette

The only socially acceptable response to when you get a text from me that says “I WANNA ROCK!” is “ROCK!….I want to ROCK!” and then we both air guitar to Twisted Sister.


Rethinking the Brand

On social media, I occasionally see ads for this nutritional bar named Soylent. The first time I saw this I laughed my butt off immediately because of the movie Soylent Green. In the movie, there was a food called Soylent Green, I don’t mean to spoil you here but probably is one of the top 10 most spoiled plot twists as it turned out that Soylent Green was MADE OF PEOPLE.

Recently, I Googled the movie because it slipped my mind who starred in that movie. I can’t believe I forgot Charlton Heston’s name. However, I also forget how old I am from time to time so maybe we just let that one slide.

Then I saw Google’s related food movies and laughed my butt off some more.

Did Google just decide “What are 4 random movies that are related by food and absolutely nothing else?”

This is the kind of journey my mind goes on at 2 AM when my cat wakes me up.


TRUE BIZARRE STORY OF THE DAY:

Police taser man after he fails to notice his wife’s new haircut (http://honey.nine.com.au)

US police were forced to taser a man who got into a heated argument with his wife because he failed to notice that she’d had her hair done.” Read More….


MEME OF THE DAY:

Sound of Silence NES


Well, that is it for today. I have enough for more editions, rather than nothing, which is great.

Thank you!

“Mr. Metal” Richie Eston

P.S. Would You Like Fries With That?

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