Yup, wouldn’t you believe it, it is already back. Would You Like Fries With That? Volume 2 is here with Blog Number 2. I talk about good ideas for the dog show format, Target, and more. So….are you ready?
100 Goodbois Dog Show
Dog shows like the Westminster Dog Show are boring and snobby as all hell. We need a show about happy dogs. Called “Who Is a Good Boy?”
My vision is that it’s just 2 hours of happy dogs running around excited chasing tennis balls and chew toys. This is all while everyone in the audience is all like “Who is a good boy?!”
The answer? Every dog. Every dog is a good boy.
A Whole Other Upside Down
Speaking of dog shows, you know that there is some alternate universe where Dogs rule the earth. These dogs are having their Super Bowl every year where all the Great Danes play linesmen and German Sheppards are quarterbacks.
This is all while non sporting dogs who consider themselves “animal fans” are watching the Baby Bowl with baby humans are in their own Puppy Bowl like show. They are discussing about spaying and neutering their human pets. Gotta initiate population control on those pests.
What Sorcery Is This?
That moment when you go inside of Target for a simple closet organizer. Before you know it, you are basically playing a game of Jenga with your cart of items. Sheesh…
I asked people what they thought it was. A relative of mine thinks it is subliminal message in the store music. Personally, I think its the air. It smells different there. No matter what, we all agreed it was some form of secret mind control.
Hold on, still working on putting together my hat from the tinfoil I purchased at Target…
A Whole New Level of Dumbfounded
Last weekend I was in downtown Chicago at a hotel with my lovely wife. I wake up and decide to surprise her with some breakfast when she wakes up. So I go across the street to a Dunkin Donuts / Baskin Robbins mashup that is 24 hours. Hey, gotta love a town that needs donuts and milk shakes 24/7.
So, I order the peanut butter croissant donut from Dunkin Donuts and I kid you not the cashier looks at me dead in the eye and says “Do you have a peanut allergy?”
It was at that moment I felt for the service industry. I, mean, what is the story that made that necessary? Wow…
True Bizarre News Headline of the Day:
Gold Coast police officers are trying to paint a better picture of the official crime rate by “soliciting” victims to withdraw complaints, a damning report has found.
The Queensland auditor general’s report also warns crime statistics collated and released by the state’s police service should be “treated with caution”.
“The Queensland Police Service has an unacceptable amount of crime data across the state that is incomplete, inaccurate, and wrongly classified,” it reads.
Tabled in parliament on Wednesday, the report found an unhealthy focus on achieving performance targets on the tourist strip over quality data.
Meme of the Day:
And to quote my friend Randi “Can also turn an apple into a bong”
That is it for the second edition! Holy jinkies! We made it past the first one in less than one week! Celebrate people!
“Mr. Metal” Richie Eston
P.S. Would You Like Fries With That?